Sand Baby
by AznPuffyHair
Summary: The Sand Siblings stumbles upon a mission to babysit... a babyfied Naruto and Kyuubi! Ch. 12 up... Finally updated XD
1. What is that?

It was on one sunny morning, in the house of the sand siblings', where the puppeteer slept safe and sound. Lying in his spongy bed, he snored as he dreamed about his new puppet, Dango. The surrounding was still and the breeze was soft and calming. Until…

"KANKURO!" A voice with every intention to kill loomed across the puppeteer's head. Trying to figure out whose voice it belongs to, the puppeteer opened his eyes ever so slowly.

There, a girl with blonde hair, tied up in four pony tails, starred deeply into the puppeteer's eyes as she held out a video tape and thrust it into is face.

"Can. You. Tell. Me. What. This. Thing. Is. DOING. In. Our. House?" The blonde haired girl asked coldly.

When the puppeteer's vision finally became clear, he realizes the three big words written on the video tape. **Icha Icha Paradise**Suddenly, his eyes widened as sweat dripped none stop through his forehead.

"Well?" The blonde haired girl questioned holding on to the puppeteer's collar. "What excuse can you make up this time?" Shivering, the puppeteer opened his mouth hoping for some kind of lame excuse to come out.

" I-I'm…" The puppeteer stuttered, "Well, you see Temari, I'm…safe-keeping it for Kakashi!" He grinned nervously, hoping that his piss-off sister would buy the ever so stupid excuse.

Temari's eye-brow twitched as she let go of the Kankarou's collar. "Safe-keeping, eh?" She asked, sounding colder than before.

"Y-yes, just safe-" the puppeteer replied but was cut off when a fist came flying into his face knocking him five feet backwards, flying through the wall, and landed on the front yard.

"PORNO MOVIES ARE PROHIBITED!" Temari exclaim as she then added, "AND FIX THE WALL!"

(After 24 hour)

Kankuro's eyes opened slowly as he begins to take in his surrounding. _Where am I?_ He asks himself as he sat up. After a few seconds of pondering, his memory returned. He remembered the knock out by Temari because she somehow managed to find his **Icha Icha Paradise** video that was hidden…no… that was placed on the T.V.

"Kankuro, why are you still out here?" A voice from behind him called out causing him almost screamed out loud. Turning quickly and pulling out a kunai, Kankuro spotted a figure behind him, only to find a red haired boy with a "Love" tattoo on his left forehead starring at him like starring at some kind of idiot. In this case, the idiot points to Kankarou.

"Oh, Gaara, it's only you" Kankarou said smiling, feeling relieved.

Gaara walked up to the front door and looked back at the puppeteer," Who else did you think it was?"

Suddenly, Kankuro's face turned blue, he quickly found his voice and reply, "I thought you were…Temari" At the mention of her name, the sky suddenly turn black, a cat screech in the background, and a thunder was heard, and the sound _bum bum bum_ were heard. Both brother turn their head upward to stare at the now pitch black sky. Kankuro sweat dropped.

"Okay…" Gaara whispered thinking how idiotic the author is to add sound effects into the story, but that's not the point. He turns his attention back to his still sitting brother on the ground. "You have been laying here for a day. Get up, and fix the wall." Gaara demanded as he pointed to the hole on the roof.

Now everything came back and hit Kankuro hard. In an inhuman speed, he got to his feet, dashed into the house, took out a bucket of cement and a lot of brick, he kneeled in front of the hole and start patching it up. Gaara forced himself to hold in the laughter after seeing what his brother did. He knew Kankuro won't be done until at least two hours later. So he turned to the now kneeling Kankuro and said, "I'm going into the house. Hurry up and finish before the sand storm come. I don't want to take responsibility for having you trapped outside. Temari won't be happy if that happen." At the mention of the name, the sky once again turned pitch black, a cat screech again, and a thunder was heard, as well as the _bum bum bum_. Kankuro sweat dropped once more before returning to his wall-fixing.

(Two hours later)

Kankuro was now exhausted. He had being kneeling for two hours while fixing a wall that was not even his fault, was it? At least he is now finished; he can go inside the house and have a nice hot bath to relax himself. He for one was happy that the wall is fixed.

Carrying all the left-over from the fixing, he push the door open, only to find his sister sitting on the couch, arm crossed, with her fan resting next to her. She has a very pissed expression once again. Kankuro slowly walk alone the wall trying to avoid his sister, but he has no such luck.

"Where have you been?" Her voice once again cold and fill with killer intent. Kankuro froze at where he was and have a sheepish smile on his face. "I-I was fixing the w-wall," being smart as to not mention the fact that the hole was created by none other than his sister. _Man, I wander if she takes training from Tsunade-sama_. Kankuro ask himself before he was snapped back the real world by Temari, who was now face-to-face with him at eye level. Sweat starts to form on his forehead as green eyes stare into his.

"Really? I thought you ran to a hotel to hide for a night." Temari said in a very cold voice that doesn't seems to fit the blonde at all. Kankuro is now shaking with fear as he saw his sister move a hand and rest it on her hip. "N-no, I d-didn't. G-Gaara said I was o-out cold for a day a-and… DON'T KILL ME!" He was now holding his head in his arms and waiting for an impact to find its way onto his face, which never came. He slowly opens his eyes to see Temari smiling at him. He love that smile, and ever since Gaara was born, he never saw it again until that Naruto kid knocked some senses into him.

"At least you didn't run away. I couldn't help but felt guilty knowing that you haven't come back at midnight." Temari said in her sweet voice. "You what?" Kankuro was confused. _I must be dreaming._ He pinched himself only to feel the pain serge through his cheek. _Or not_. "You, heard me, I was waiting for you to return. Any way, go take a shower, you look wore out." She said in some what of a commanding voice. Kankuro can only shrug as he walk up stairs and start to take his shower.

Mean while, back down stair, Temari is once again sitting in the comfortable couch, feeling relieved that Kankuro didn't run away. She was now enjoying the silence, which is until… "Temari..." "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Temari jumped as she sees Gaara suddenly standing in front of her with one finger in each ear. "I swear you can wake the dead with that scream." Gaara said, still having one finger in his each ear.

"Would you stop doing that? God, I can never get use to that." Temari calm herself before sitting down again. "Gaara, what do you want?"

"The Kazekage summoned us," Gaara said, while taking his other finger out of his ear, "I think we have another mission."

"Mission? But didn't we just have one yesterday?" Temari was surprised at the amount of mission given to them ever since she became a chunnin. "Alright, just give me five minutes." Realizing that she was still in her night cloth, Temari rush into her room to get dress, and happened to knock down Kankuro as he finished his shower.

(Ten minutes later)

The Sand Siblings are now standing in the Kazekage's office with their mouth wide open. Their eyes were all wide and have a look of surprise in them. Yes, even Gaara, who is still acting cold, was shocked.

Standing in front of the Kazekage is no other than Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage of Konoha herself. Standing next to her are the members of Team Seven and Jiariya. There are also Lee, Tenten, Neji, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, and Shino. All members of the Rookie Nine and their sensei are here, except for one. Naruto is no where to be found. There was a long silence before Gaara broke the silence.

"Err… Kazekage-sama, Hokage-sama," He bowed to the two kage standing in front of him, his brother and sister followed. He noticed that Tsunade is holding something, but decide ignore it. He then turns back to the Kazekage. "What's the mission?"

The Kazekage looked to Tsunade and looked back to Gaara; he took a deep breath and replied in one simple word, "Babysitting."

-Long Silence-

"WHAT! YOU MUST BE JOKING. THERE IS NO WAY WE'RE PUTTTING NARUTO IN THEIR CARE!" Sakura yelled in disbelief.

"NARUTO'S YOUTH MUST NOT BE DESTROYED" It was now Lee's turn to yell. He no longer needs support to walk, since the mission to save Sasuke, he have already recovered from his injury.

The sand sibling's look confused. "What are you guys talking about? What about Naruto?" Kankuro asked in an indifferent voice. All eyes suddenly shifted upon Kankuro with such glare, that Kankuro's sweat poured down.

Kiba rush to Tsunade and took the bundle of cloth with a orange, fluffy thing on top, which look extremely like a ball of yarn, and ran to the Sand Siblings point into the bundle of cloth while shouting, "JUST LOOK! JUST LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE IN MY FREAKING ARM AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Akamaru barked on top of Kiba's head.

Looking at each other for a while, the Sand Siblings decide that one look wouldn't hurt. As they do so, they all froze. Inside that bundle of close lay an infant with blue eyes and yellow hair. There are whisker marks on the boy's cheeks, three on each side. Suddenly the ball of yarn shifted, revealing a fox cub with nine tails hanging freely in the air from where it had fallen off from the baby. After a few second of silence, the Sand Siblings screamed. "NARUTO?" Gaara faint, so did Kankuro, but Temari's eyes are shining with excitement.

Before Kiba can stop her, Temari scoped Naruto into her arms along with the now harmless Kyuubi and hug them both. "Oh my god, he is so cute! I can't believe Naruto was this cute when he was a baby."

Everyone in the room sweat dropped. Gaara woke up hearing Temari's voice. Seeing Temari in an extremely hyper mode, he decides to ask. "Temari, what's going on? Where and why am I here? And what are you holding?"

Temari heard Gaara's voice and crouch down and show the baby Naruto and Kyuubi to him. Gaara's eyes become unbelievable wide. "Look for yourself." Temari answered and shoved the babyfied Naruto and Kyuubi into Gaara's arm, "look, isn't Naruto so damn cute when he was a baby?" Gaara's eyes widened even more and fainted. _Is that really Naruto?_


	2. I See

You sit comfortably in your chair as you wait eagerly to read chapter two of Sand Baby. Excitement rushes through your body but suddenly a smoke bomb appears and goes POOF! You look deeply into the smoke to see a beautiful figure. Than you realize who it is… AZNYPUFFYHAIR AND HIS LITTLE SISTER, PAYDAY!

PD: AHOY MY YOUTHFUL READERS! IT'S FANFICTION'S ASIAN BEAUTY BEAST! I HAVE COME TO LITE ALL YOUR WILL OF FIRE! YES, YOUTH MUST BURN ON BABY! BURN BABY BU---

AZH: (hit PD in the head) BAKA!

PD: OHH, WHY IN YOUTH'S NAME DID YOU HIT ME FOR.

AZH: Our readers don't want to hear us talk; they want to read.

PD: okay then… HERE GOES CHAPTER TWO! (COOL GIRL POSE- a slight twist with the "good guy pose")

AZH: (perform ox, horse, snake, then tiger really fast) STORY TELLING NO JUSTU!

**WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!**

Bold ItalicShukaku Italicthoughts (with '' if in flashback mood) 

Gaara begin to slip back to consciousness. He half open his eyes to took in his surrounding. He hears giggling in the background, but decide to ignore that for now. Suddenly everything comes back all at once and hit him hard from the back of his head. In an instant, he snapped up into a sitting position and find himself in his room, door wide open so he can see the stairs (his room is right across the corridor to the stair). Noticing that the room was not destroyed, he let out a sign of relieve. _Shukaku must be sleeping._ He thought to himself. Deciding not to stay on the bed too long, he decides to go down stairs before Shukaku can eats away his personality.

_I must be dreaming… but it felt so… real_. He thought to himself while walking down the staircases. Once he reaches their living room, his eyes widen slightly. All the people in his "dream" are there. Tsunade, members of Team 7, the Rookie Nines and their sensei, and Gai's team, all are sitting in the living room. That's when he notices Temari, sitting next to Shikamaru and Kankuro. They all turned to look at him, which made him a bit uncomfortable. Therefore, he decides to break the silence. " Why are you guys here?" He asked in his normal cool tone.

"HE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER! NARUTO'S YOUTH IS STILL YOUNG TSUNADE-SAMA! STOP BEFORE THINGS GET OUT OF MY EYEBROWS… I mean GET OUT OF HANDS" Lee turned to the Fifth Hokage, who sat a few seats away.

Tsunade let out a big sigh. "They're the best choice I have for now. I can't really trust any Jounins or Chunins because they won't accept…knowing the fact that Kyuubi will be put under their hands. Nor can I give them to Shikamaru, knowing how lazy he is." At that, Shikamaru's eye-brown twitched a bit. "Also, Jiaraya's not trust worthy thanks to his perverted personality." At that, everyone turned and stare at Jiaraya, who backed away a few steps. "Sasuke is still recovering from the beating he took from Naruto on **that** mission, and the rest of you… just doesn't seems to be able to do it."

"What?" Gaara asked impatiently while trying his best to hide his confusion.

"I wouldn't expect you to remember, after all, you fainted for almost a day now." Said Temari while having a grin on her face. She seems unbelievably happy. Kankuro just sighed seeing how his sister is acting.

Now Gaara is totally confused, and his face betrayed him. He soon resumed his normal face, but now he noticed that Temari is holding some thing. Now everything really comes back to him at about 100 miles per hour. "Please tell me that whatever you're holding is not Naruto." Gaara said, almost in a pleading tone that only his brother and sister can tell.

"Yes, it is Naruto that I'm holding." Temari paused, seeing that Gaara's eyes widen once again. "Anyway, both Hokage-sama and Kazekage-sama agree to let us take care of him."

Gaara twitched; he never took care of a baby before. But he manages to push away his thoughts and asked, "How did Naruto and Kyuubi turn into a baby?"

"We don't know," Tsunade answered, "All I know is that Kakashi found Naruto and Kyuubi wrapped inside his usual orange out fits when he went to fetch him."

"Tsunade-sama, if you allow me to explain…" Kakashi look at Tsunade right into the eyes, and soon earned himself a nod, so he continue, "This is how it goes… in my account that is…"

Flashback 

"_Where is Naruto? He was never late for training." Sakura asked impatiently. Naruto was now very late, later than Kakashi for he was already there._

"_Strange, it's not like him to be late. I'll go to his house and check while you go to the hospital. Maybe he went to visit Sasuke." Earning a nod from Sakura, the silver-hair ninja dashed off towards Naruto's house._

_When he reached it, he feel something was wrong, for the window isn't closed like it does when Naruto leave his house. But that's not what's feeling weird about this place, this place almost felt like… snake._

_Pushing the thoughts out of his head, he climbs into the window to see… no one. Now he is slightly starting to worry. Scanning around the house, to find no trace of Naruto._

_When he was about to leave, something caught his eye. The orange outfit of Naruto was lying on the bed in a hip, but something seems to being wrapped around in it. He slowly approaches the hip of clothes; freeze when it moved a bit, then continued. His breathing was now at a faster rate as well as his heartbeat. His body felt tense and all his muscle stiffen._

_He finally reached it, and has one hand over it. "It's warm…" Kakashi said to himself. "Here goes nothing." With a flip of his arm, the cloth came loose and reveals a small baby with a ball of fur on his stomach. Kakashi's eye become plate-size, the baby has golden hair and whisker marks, three on each cheek. He swallowed hard, then slowly move his visible eye down the boy and stopped at the ball of fur that seems to be moving a little._

'_Please don't let it be what I think it is… please…' Kakashi prayed in his mind as he slowly moves a hand to the ball of fur. Then he poked it, only for it to shift and reveal a fox cub with red furs, but that's not what scares him. He relaxes, "Oh good, it's only a baby boy and a fox cub with nine tails. Wait… b-b-baby boy… fox cub with N-NINE t-t-tails… HOLY CARP! NARUTOOOOOOO!" Kakashi's scream was heard through out the entire village._

End Flashback 

Everyone in the room sweat dropped. "That's what happened." Kakashi finished his story and sat back down.

"I see." Said Gaara. "Do you know who did it?"

"Nope." Every leaf shinobis answered at the same time while shaking their head.

"And you guys are putting them into our care."

"Yes." Once again, everyone answered at the same time. Gaara can tell that Kankuro was slightly unnerved by this reply.

"Troublesome." Gaara breathed out. Shikamaru twitched again at his favor word.

"So it's decided?" Temari suddenly jumped in front of Gaara while holding Naruto with Kyuubi lying on him and tails wrapped around Naruto to keep him warm. Her green eyes are sparkling with hope and her mouse was slightly parted into a smile. Every leaf shinobis sweat dropped.

"Yes. We can take care of him."

"YES!" Temari screamed out with her fist in the air while Kankuro yelled and jumped out of the sofa, "WHAT?"

"But…" Both Temari and Kankuro calm down and look at Gaara. Once he gets their attention, he continued, "I'll only say this ones. I…" Gaara paused starring at everyone's curious eyes, then continued. "I will not…" Everyone's is now sweating slightly waiting for Gaara. "Definitely not…" Gaara turned to the door and took a deep breath, "I will definitely not teach Naruto… Sex…Ed" At the sound of the two words, everyone's sweat dropped and fell feet up (animate style).

"OKAY." Temari is now extremely happy. "Oh, by the way, Gaara, pack your stuff, we're moving to Konoha."

"Okay." Gaara said before disappearing into his room and then realized what he just agreed to do. _We're moving to Konoha…?_ He thought.

"I still can't believe we're getting to take care of Naruto!" Temari squeaked out due to excitement. Hinata was a bit disappointed for not being appointed to look after her love. So she can hug him, smooch him, who knows, the power of youth is unpredictable. (Payday with tears pouring downs her eyes.)

(Two month later, somewhere in Konoha)

Crying of baby can be heard all over the place of the Sand Sibling's house. Gaara was a bit afraid because he didn't know what's wrong with Naruto. _Is he hungry? _He asked himself. **_No, he is not hungry._** Shukaku answered him. _Then what does he want? I can't read his mind_. **_Just get closer to him…_**

As directed, Gaara ling forward towards Naruto. Suddenly, an awful smell reached his nose. It took Gaara a few second to put two and two together, and when he does… _HOLY CRAP! **Bingo**_

"TEMARI!"

"WHAT? I'M TAKING A SHOWER!"

"NARUTO SMELL."

"IT'S HIS DIPPER! CHANGE IT!"

"…."

"COME ON GAARA, JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE." By the time Temari finished talking, Gaara was already approaching Naruto. _I can do this…_

As Gaara approaches Naruto, sweats start to form on his forehead. He looked right, left, back, front, and knew that… no one can safe him now. His whole body started shaking as he stands one feet away from Naruto. He raised his hands, put it back. Raise his hands, put it back. Raise his hands, put it back. Raise his hands, put it back. He raised his hands, put it back. Raised his hands, put---(AZNPUFFYHAIR PUNCHES PAYDAY IN THE HEAD. They get the idea…baka.) Therefore, Gaara's hand finally approached Naruto's dipper. His finger twitched as he slowly, carefully, open the…. dipper…_BUMBUMBUM._

Suddenly, the horrible sticky, smell, ran through the room as Gaara pinched his nose. He quickly adjusted his eyes to see…a big…blob…of…brown…thingamajig…. (Horror music playing in background, you know the type that was used in Daddy Daycare? The time when he opens the bathroom, that sound.) Gaara's face turned a bit green at the sight. _Must remain calm, and do it fast, before I faint._

(Two minutes later)

"Ok Gaara, thanks for helping." Temari thanked Gaara while trying to hold back her laughter. Gaara's face is still a bit green from the dipper-changing two minutes ago.

Naruto is now asleep once again and Kyuubi lay beside him purring and with his tails wrapped around Naruto. Suddenly, Gaara's face turned plain white. He turned around to face his sister and whispered, "Te…ma…ri…"

A trickle of fear ran up Temari's spine as she manages to say, "Y-yes?", while sweat started pouring down her forehead.

"I'll give you one minute to run. Starting now"

"EEK!" With that, she burst out the door, knocking down Kankuro (once again), who just came back from grocery shopping.

"What's with her?" Kankuro asked while pointing a finger at Temari's direction looking confused at the same time. Gaara slowly turned his face towards Kankuro, his left eye never stop twitching. A dark aura seems to be surrounding Gaara. "Pretend I didn't ask…" Picking up the grocery, Kankuro dashed into the kitchen.

(Seven minutes later)

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Temari dodged an on coming wave of sand _BOOM_. _Oh crap oh crap oh crap OH CRAP OH CRAP_ "G-GAATA, COME DOWN. AAAAHHHH! _BOOM_" Temari dodged another wave of sand.

"I'll do that, after I blow off some steam." Gaara didn't want to kill his sister of course. Although he is pretty mad right now. His sand is slower than usual so Temari can dodge them. She once hides behind a clueless Shikamaru before he got slammed into the wall of a nearby shop by Gaara's sand. His eye turned into after that.

"COME ON GAARA, I'M TAKING A SHOWER FOR GOD'S SAKE. EEEKK! _BOOM_" Another wave of sand was barely dodged. Shukaku is laughing very hard inside Gaara's mind. **_'I love this kid when he does that'_**

**At the Hokage's office**

_Boom_ "Haven't they stop yet?" Tsunade asked impatiently. "It's being going on for seven entire _boom_ minutes."

"I suggest _BOOM_ we let them finish… we don't want to get between them, now do we?" _BOOM _said Kakashi trying very hard not to burst into laughter.

"Well _boom_, I hope they finish soon, cause I can't work with them going to like this."

Jiaraya's eyes widened as his mouth drop. "Tsunade…works…." With that, Tsunade turned around and glared evilly into Jiaraya's eyes. Noticing the fact that he might just end his life right there, "Just kidding Tsunade" he grinned nervously.

"You better _boom_ be." Said Tsunade through grinding teeth.

Back to our beloved Gaara 

"TENTEN, GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Temari shout to the girl with two buns on her head.

"Huh, what are you- HOLY SHIT! _BOOM_" Tenten was cut off while dodging a wave a sand, which was send for Temari, who was standing in front of her a few second ago. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"JUST RUN!" Temari grabbed Tenten's arm and run as fast as she can. She took a sharp turn and dash into a narrow alley. She stopped after reaching the deeper part of the alley panting. "Good (pant), we should (pant) lose (pant) him."

"Lose who?" Both Temari and Tenten froze. Standing behind them is no other than Gaara, and he still looks pretty pissed.

"G-Gaara, how n-nice t-to see you t-today." Tenten stuttered, almost looking like Hinata. If it wasn't for her cloth and her brown eyes and her two buns, people could mistake her for Hinata, because her skin was not milk white.

"I'll give you five second to run. Five…" Said Gaara.

"Come on Gaara, please don't make me do that again…" Temari pleaded.

"Four…"

"Please Gaara-kun…" Temari was now begging very hard, while adding the –kun to Gaara's name.

"Three…"

"Come on Gaara-kun… I'll buy you a chocolate cake…" Temari is now slowly backing away.

"Two…" Sand starts to shift at the bottom of Gaara's feet.

_Crap, must think of something, very fast…_"Please… with cherries for topping?" Temari is almost out of the alley.

Gaara stopped counting, but still having a piss expression, he asked in a demanding voice, "You mean strawberries."

"YES STRAWBERRIES!" Temari grinned feeling a bit relieved, but still prepare to run in case Gaara changes his mind. Gaara looked up, and then nodded. "Thank you! Meet you back at our house!" With that and a slight kiss on Gaara's cheek, Temari dashed forward to the bakery.

"I never knew you like cakes." Tenten was surprised, but decide to shut up when Gaara glared at her. "I'll be going now." Now it's Tenten's turn to run, and to tell the truth, she run pretty fast, leaving a trail of dust behind.

_**Hehe, that was fun. **Shut up. **Fine.**_

Author's note:

APH: For those who are curious about how Naruto and Kyuubi were turned into babies, I'm sorry. I decide to let Naruto remember things a little by a time.

Please R&R.

Oh, and by next chapter, I'll start answering some review questions.

PD: I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! MY FLAME OF YOUTH IS BURNING!

APH: AAAHH, PAYDAY! I'M ON FIRE!

PD: YES! BECAUSE YOUTH IS SOMETHING THAT BURNS FURIOUSLY WITHIN US ALL! (Tears pour down)

APH: NO, I'M REALLY ON FIRE!

PD: (Looks back at APH) OHH CRAPP

(Both rushed to the back yard and try to put the fire out with the water hose.)

**Next chapter's preview: Naruto's First Word- **

**Everyone crowded next to Naruto. Kankuro holding the camera while Temari sweats like a pig. Jiaraya stares deeply into Naruto's eyes while Gaara stands impatiently waiting for Naruto's first word. **

**Suddenly, Naruto's mouth opens…"ENSE TEONEIIII" Everyone's eyes widened. "Come on Naruto, your almost there!" Temari exclaimed as she move closer to Naruto. Naruto's mouth opens once more…**


	3. Naruto's First Word

Aznpuffyhair and Payday are sitting on a table enjoying a cub of tea while Payday crams cheesecake into her mouth. When Aznpuffyhair suddenly feels that they were being stared at. He raises his head and realized that people are glaring at them, some tapping their foot impatiently waiting for the next chapter of the story.

APH: What? It's time already… Damn, time flies when you're occupied.

PD: THAT IS BECAUSE YOUTH FLIES ALONG WITH FURY! (Crumbs scattered all over her face)

APH: … (eye-brow twitching badly)

PD: WELL THEN… IF THOSE YOUTHFUL READERS REALLY WANT TO READ SAND BABY CHAPTER THREE… WE'LL GIVE IT TO THEM! (Do the 'good-girl pose')

APH: Sure, whatever. Let me finish the last piece of cheesecake. (Hand slowly reaching over the last piece of remaining cheesecake…when…)

PD: YOUTH WILL PREVAIL! (Slaps APH's hands and grabbed the cheesecake in a total matrix style move and stuffs it into her mouth.)

APH: WHAT THE…! HEY, THAT'S MINE!

PD: NOW, NOW, YOUTH DECIDED IT. SO JUST DO THE JUTSU MY YOUTHFUL BROTHER!

APH: (A hammer appear out of now where and slams into PD's head… or where her head use to be…) Damn, you…(Grins) Now I can do the jutsu. (Perform ox, horse, snake, and tiger really fast) STORY TELLING NO JUSTU!

**WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!**

**Answer reviews at bottom, if any…**

**Chapter 3: Naruto's First Word…**

It is a sunny day in the village of Konoha, where everyone minded their own business. It is a pretty normal day. YEA RIGHT! With a fifty year old woman who looks like she's twenty with scary large bust who is the Hokage, a perverted hermit (Jiaraya) peeping into the women's bath house, and a boy who murder people just for the heck of it… you won't consider it normal. Although Gaara doesn't do that any more…

It was almost a year now that the Sand Siblings had been living in the village Konoha. They became friends with a lot of people, mainly the Rookie Nine, Gai's team and their sensei, the ero-sennin (AKA Jiaraya, which Sakura picked up of saying after catching him peeking in the women's bath herself), Tsunade, and several other villagers who consider Naruto now 'harmless.'

Naruto can already crawl, but he wasn't able to talk yet. Kyuubi is acting more of a protector and blanket to Naruto each and every month. Naruto also grows into Kankuro and Gaara ever so slightly. They even made a stupid excuse to get people off their back when they see them playing with Naruto. Often they'll say, "It's not my fault. He's just so damn cute." Other times they'll just say it's their responsibility to look after their 'younger sibling.' Temari even came up with the crazy idea of adopting Naruto one time, which was prevented by her brothers and the Rookie Nine… Hinata did most of the begging. However, the effort is futile because she still managed to sign the paper with all these people piling on top of her.

Kyuubi on the other hand, had grown up to the size that Naruto can ride on him without trouble. Heck, he can even speak, but in this chibi voice that doesn't fit a demon… especially the strongest of them all (he can speak cause he is a demon, a very intelligent one to that). Shukaku ended up causing Gaara a major headache because of him laughing so hard in his head when he first heard Kyuubi's little chibi voice (amazing, isn't it). Usually, Kyuubi would wrap Naruto comfortably in his nine tails when Naruto is asleep or carry Naruto around on his back (don't ask why), heck, Kyuubi even admit that he felt Naruto was his twin brother.

Our story begins at an "ordinary" Saturday in the house the Sand Siblings acquired when they moved to Konoha. Gaara was found sitting on the couch. The black circle around his eyes become lighter since Shukaku allowed him to sleep using some lame excuse about needing energy to take care of Naruto and Kyuubi. Although Gaara still doesn't trust Shukaku, he was able to sleep peacefully once in a while. Kankuro was lying on the couch, taking his afternoon nap. Temari was out doing grocery shopping.

She found out about Naruto and Kyuubi's appetite a little while after Kyuubi can talk… which scared the shit out of her of how much those two can eat in one meal.

_Why is she taking so god damn long?_ Gaara thought to himself as his patient begins to wear thin. He turned his head slightly to look at Naruto wrapped around Kyuubi's tails and sounded asleep. Kyuubi seems to be doing the same, but Gaara doubt that.

"Damn, I swore she could be slow some time." Gaara mumble to no one in particular. He heard a small giggle coming out of Kyuubi's mouth, but decide to ignore it. Starring at the clock hanged in the living room, he calculated that she already took two hours. That's when the front door slammed open.

"I'm home!" Temari's voice can be heard all over the house. Naruto's eyes snapped open and turned his head to look at his sister. Temari is carrying several large bags of grocery bags before Gaara's sand relieved her of her load.

"Welcome back." Gaara and Kyuubi said at the same time. _I knew you weren't asleep._ Thought Gaara.

"Gaara, I need your help to put the stuffs away. Kyuubi, play with Naruto a bit, will ya?" Temari ask from the kitchen's door way. Both Gaara and Kyuubi soon started doing what they were assigned to do.

Kankuro shifted on the sofa a bit, but soon find his face slamming into the wooden floor. "Itei (that hurt)…" Said Kankuro rubbing his nose. "Huh? Temari, when did you come back?"

"About a few minutes ago." Temari answered coming out of the kitchen with Gaara behind her. Naruto crawled over to Temari and hugged his sister with a big grin oh his face. "Hi Naruto-kun, you miss me?" Naruto replied by nodding his head. Gaara has a little smile at the corner of his mouth. Kankuro just looked tire like he had just finished running around Konoha 100 times.

"I'm bored, is there anything I can do? Beside chasing Kankuro around Konoha?" Kyuubi asked with an evil smirk on his face. Kankuro's eyes snapped open and landed on Kyuubi. _Oh crap…Temari, please say no…_ Kankuro was now sweating.

"No. You're not allowed to chase Kankuro around Konoha. Do you still remember what happened last time?" Asked Temari. Kankuro's face turned blue as last time's memory comes back to him.

Flashback 

"_Temari-onee-chan, I'm bored!" Kyuubi signed as he keeps his tails around Naruto to keep him warm._

"_Kyuubi, will you stop complaining?" Ask Gaara obviously annoyed._

"_But Naruto isn't fun 'yet'." Kyuubi added that 'yet' part in his own mind._

"_Well, why don't you go chase Kankuro around the village or some thing? He'll need the exercise." Said Temari looking at his brother._

"_You must be kidding, there is no way he can catch up to me." Kankuro snorted. "Beside, what can you do to me?"_

"_Oh, you'll regret saying that." Kyuubi was now grinning from ear to ear._

"_Oh yea? Prove it to me then."_

_Kyuubi slowly moved over to Temari and hand her Naruto, who is still sleeping peacefully. Then he walks back to where he was a few moments ago. Red chakra was now pouring out of Kyuubi. Kankuro was now a little bit nervous, but he didn't show it. "Come one squirt, show me what you got!" Kankuro taunted Kyuubi with a large smirk on his face._

_Kyuubi snorted before charging at Kankuro. To everyone's surprise, he was very fast for his size. Within a second he is already behind Kankuro and bite him on the ass. "OUCH!" Kankuro screamed in pain. _

_Kyuubi soon let go of Kankuro's butt. "Mm, tasty."_

"_YOU BASTARD." Kankuro try to grab onto Kyuubi, but was knocked down onto his stomach when Kyuubi disappear and appear on his back, smiling. Gaara was enjoying it, and he did nothing to hide that._

"_Oh you little…" Kankuro's face was now a bit red. A mallet suddenly comes down on his head at about 200 miles per hour and slammed Kankuro into the ground._

_Temari was surprised. Her mouth was slightly parted and her eyes were wide. On the other side of the room, Kyuubi was holding a large mallet in his tails with '20K' written on it. Kankuro slowly climb out of the hole and started to reach for the door, only to have the mallet slammed into his butt shooting him out of the door._

"_Wow… I never imagine you can do that." Temari was impressed. "Teach me how someday."_

"_Sure." With that, Kyuubi walked out of the house looking for Kankuro._

_(Two minutes later…)_

"_HELP!" Kyuubi, who still has that huge mallet in his tails, was now chasing Kankuro. Everyone who was very unfortunate was being knocked into the ground by Kyuubi because either 1) Kankuro dodged an attack, which landed on the people behind him, or 2) Kankuro pushed the person in front of him as a meat shield. Neji was one of these people._

_They were moving so fast that they look like blurs of smoke with trail of dust._

_Kankuro suddenly grab Ino, who is in front of him and shove her aside. "Hey, what are you doing?"_

"_Sorry!"_

"_I'll never get-" She was cut off when something runs over her, which causes foot prints to appear on her cloth. She summoned all her remaining strength and look up at the last moment only to see Kyuubi holding his mallet-sama (as Kankuro refers to it) by the tails before darkness consumes her._

_(An hour later…)_

_Kyuubi dragged Kankuro back into their house. He was now completely exhausted plus bruises now covers his body. Gaara is nowhere to be found. Temari was sleeping on the sofa with Naruto in her arms before Kyuubi come into the room._

"_Huh? Kyuubi, what did you do to him?" The now unconscious Kankuro surprised Temari._

"_I just used my mallet-sama and slammed it into him a good couple of times."_

"_I hope you didn't seriously injured him."_

"_Nope, I didn't in-" Kyuubi was cut off when a very pissed Tsunade stormed into the room._

"_WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE VILLAGE?" Tsunade practically screamed into Kyuubi's face. Kyuubi sweat dropped as he now grinned nervously._

"_Huh?" Temari is confused. Walking out the door and jumping on to the rooftop, she can clearly see the whole village… or should I say, what was left of the village. "Holy crap! KYUUBI!" Her scream was heard through out the village._

End Flashback 

"Oh you mean…that…fine I won't chase him." Kyuubi look disappointed as he glares at Kankuro, who's doing victory dance with Payday…WAIT WHAT?

"I'm putting Naruto into the play pan." Temari walk over to the play pan and slowly lowered Naruto inside. "I need a bath." With that, Temari walked upstairs

"HA, IN YOUR FACE!" Kankuro shouts into Kyuubi's ear as he points his finger between Kyuubi's eyes.

"Lucky for you." Said Kyuubi in an unsatisfied tone. "I'm going to teach Naruto…." Kankuro stopped teasing Kyuubi and looked into the nine tails' eyes. "You're going to teach!" Kyuubi's eyes shut tight as he does his fox grin. "I'm going to teach him how to." Kankuro's sweat dropped, curiosity pours through his body. "Your going to teach him how to!" Kyuubi looked back and faced Kankuro again…"HOW TO SPEAK!" These three words hit Kankuro hard…_Kyuubi…teaching a little kid how to talk…_within seconds, Kyuubi's in the playpen next to Naruto as he grabs a pen and paper out of the air. But at the same time… Jiaraya burst through the door, sweating like a pig.

"HIDE ME!" Jiaraya screamed into Gaara's ears.

"Why?" Ask Gaara. "Just do it please. My life depends on it." Jiaraya was begging on his knees.

Gaara starred down at the man who was known as one of the legendary three. "Fine…hide in my room." Gaara said as he pointed up the stairs.

Immediately, Jiaraya rushed up the stairs and dived into Gaara's room. Few second later, the front door slammed open once more. Except this time, all the girls and Tsunade rushed into the house. "WHERE IS HE?" All of them demanded.

Gaara shrugged and asked calmly, "Who?"

"WHAT! DON'T LIE! WE KNOW ERO-SENNIN IS IN HERE SOMEWHERE!" Sakura scream at the top of her lung, causing Kyuubi and Naruto to abandon what they were doing earlier and stare at her.

The word ero-sennin struck Naruto's nerve. _Ero sennin…Ero sennin…Ero sennin… power of youth… power of youth (APH hits Payday hard on the head…) Ero sennin… _Naruto's mouth opened slightly. "Eeeeee…ooo…nin" Kyuubi's head turned around slightly….

"Huh?" Kyuubi stared at Naruto, his eyes plate-size. "S-say t-that a-again…" Kyuubi stuttered. Naruto's mouth opened once more…"EEEEE…. OOOO…. NIN." Suddenly, youth hit everyone hard in the head. Naruto was going to have his…FIRST…WORD… _BUM BUM BUM_!

Kankuro gasped as he yells at the top of his lungs, "TEMARI, GET A CAMERA! YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BATH LATER. NARUTO IS ABOUT TO…HAVE HIS FIRST WORD!"

As "First Word" looms across the hallway…Temari stood frozen in front of the bathroom door. In seconds, Temari was in front of Naruto, along with the girls, Tsunade, and Jiaraya. All of them crouched down, starring at the chibi Naruto.

Soon, all the angers are forgotten at the very moment. Kankuro holding the camera while Temari sweats like a pig. Jiaraya stared deeply into Naruto's eyes while Gaara stands impatiently waiting for Naruto's first word.

Suddenly, Naruto's mouth opens, surprising everyone in the room, "ENSE TEONEIIII." Everyone's eyes widened. "Come on Naruto, you're almost there!" Temari exclaimed as she move closer to Naruto. Naruto's mouth opens once more. Everybody hold his or her breath. Time seems to slow down as now all eyes are starring at Naruto intensely. "ERO… ERO-SENNIN!"

"WHAT!" Everybody besides Gaara screamed. Hinata fainted, Sakura and Ino are stunned, Tenten's eye-brow is twitching, Temari's mouth hang open, Kankuro's mouth touches the ground, Gaara sweat dropped, Kyuubi was shaking, and Tsunade is starring daggers into Jiaraya, who's face is completely white.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH! YOU FREAKING PERVERT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Sakura snapped, her anger is now doubled, a vain popped on her forehead while Inner Sakura is screaming "YOU BASTARD!"

"WHAT? ME? WHY IS IT MY FAULT?" Jiaraya yelled back.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T PEEK IN THE WOMEN'S BATH HOUSE WHILE WE'RE ALL TAKING A RELAXING BATH, THIS WOULD NEVER HAD HAPPEN!" It's now Tsunade's turn to yell.

"Yo!" Everyone turn to find our favor Jounin teacher Kakashi leaning against the couch. "What's going on?"

"ERO-SENNIE!" Naruto is now pointing at Jiaraya while clapping furiously.

"What…?" Kakashi's right eye shines as dark aura surrounds him.

"Well… you see… it's all an accident… yes, that's right… an accident." Jiaraya slowly back away from the crowd.

"Oh really. Guess you never tasted Konoha's ultimate taijutsu master art." Kakashi is now approaching Jiaraya slowly with his hands formed into a tiger seal. Chakra could be seemed while birds' chipping can be heard from Kakashi's fingers.

"Well, look at the time, I'm late for some special meeting… see you guys around." Jiaraya rushed throw the door with everyone chasing after him beside the Sand Siblings. Kyuubi is within the crowds with his mallet-sama. Silence follows.

"I guess… things has to start some where." Gaara broke the silence.

"Yea, you're right… I still can't believe that's his first word…" Said Kankuro.

Temari is now crouching at a corner, back facing her brothers. She is now hugging her knees and rocking back and forth slightly. Light seems to be deflected off that corner because it's all dark and stuff. The Sand Brothers saw little fires on top of Temari's head and _dddddoooooooooooooonnnnnn_ was heard in the background.

"We'll just leave her along right now…" Said Kankuro. Gaara nodded slightly before forming a small plate form of sand under Naruto and follow Kankuro out the door.

Rumors has that Jiaraya was found half dead and covered in bruises with two black eyes at the gate of Konoha a day later. If you closely exam his butt, you can see a huge whole in his pants. No villagers know what caused the whole, all they know was that they heard "HIDDEN VILLAGE OF KONOHA; ULTIMATE TAIJUTSU MASTER ART… A MILLION YEARS OF PAIN: CHIDORI!" before hearing Jiaraya screams in pain.

Author's note:

APH: Well, that's another chapter of the Sand Baby. Hope you enjoy it. I'm very sorry if it turned out rather disappointing… but I'm drained of my imagination thanks to final.

PD: ITS OOKAY MY BROTHER! YOUTH SHALL GUIDE YOU TO THE FINALS! YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOUTH YOU-

APH: (Knock PD extremely hard on the head…) Err… Payday? I guess I knocked her out… Anyway, hope you enjoy the story. Next chapter of Sand Baby will take place when Naruto is four years old. Also since Payday is unconscious, it'll take a while to finish the next chapter. See you next time. By the way, stories might be updated pretty fast since summer is here. Ta-da. (Drag Payday by the feet and into the house.)


	4. Chasing Chaos!

After days of resting, Payday finally awake from her coma caused by the one and only Aznpuffyhair. And for a bonus, they arrived at Taiwan safely. However, when APH knocked Payday into a coma, he also knocked an idea into her head... a very strange idea that is... 

APH: PAYDAY! ARE YOU DONE YET?

PD: WAIT YOUTHFUL BROTHER! PATIENTS IS NEEDED TO PICK OUT A GOOD OUTFIT!

APH: WHILE, HURRY UP, I DON'T GOT ALL DAY YOU KNOW!

PD: (grin) I got it... (chuckles) LOOK!

APH: (Stares at PD...sweat drops...eyebrow twitcthing badly) what the heck... is that?

PD: WHY BROTHER (Holds out a pink spandex) ITS DELICATE HOT PINK COLOR WILL MAKE ME THE FLOWER OF FANFICTION! PLUS IT'S FLEXY MATERIAL WILL ADJUST TO EVERY SEXY MOVE I MAKE! (Good girl pose)

APH: (eye brow start twitching furiously) I see... at least you didn't get the eye brows...

PD: (Beams) WELL BROTHER! YOUTH IS SURPRISING! (Holds out a pair of fake eyebrows)

APH: (fell down animate style) Okay... you know what... lets just start the story. By the way, sorry for taking so long. (performs ox, horse, snake, then tiger) STORY TELLING NO JUTSU!

WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!

(if we got any mistake in using suffix, plz tell us in review)

_Where am i?_ Naruto thought as he take in his surrounding. _Why is everything so dark? Where is Temari-onee-chan, Kankuro-nii-san, Gaara-nii-san, and Kyuubi? Where is everybody? _Naruto was now some what worry.

Suddenly, Naruto heard a hissing voice behind him. _Huh?_ As he walk towards the sound, it grew louder. "W-whooo there? " Asked Naruto, but no answer came. "Kankurwo-nii-san?"

The voice suddenly stopped. Just when Naruto starts to relax, a shadow launch itself at Naruto. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHH!" Kyuubi, who was lying next to Naruto suddenly screamed as Naruto screamed.

"AHHHH"  
"ARHHHHHH"  
"AHHH"  
"ARHHH"  
"ARHHHH"  
"AHHHH"

"SHUT UP!" Payday shouted as she throws a kunai at Kyuubi. But what she didn't notice was that she was the one who wrote the part where they screamed. Idiotic? I think so.

"Naruto... did you have a nightmare?" Asked Kyuubi, who succesfully catched the kunai while smashing Payday into the ground with his mallet-sama.

Naruto starred blankly at Kyuubi, "Whoot is a niware?"

Kyuubi sighed," Nevermind, well go brush your teeth and wash your face, I'll be at Temari-onee-chan's room."

"O-okay."Naruto smiled showing his teeth, then jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Naruto is now about three feet tall, except a little less. Since he grew over the two years, the bed was a bit big, which caused him trouble just to get in and out. But since his Naruto, he can do anything. (Like the power of youth.)

Meanwhile...At Temari's room---

knock knock

Temari stirred in her bed. Half openning her left eye and looking at the clock that was placed beside to her on a nightstand. W_hat? it's only seven o'clock. _"Give me five more minutes."

Knock knock!

"C'mon, just five more minutes."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

"Okay okay, sheesh, can't anyone get some sleep around here?" Temari murmured out the last part as she apporches the door. Opening it, she noticed Kyuubi standing infront of her.

"Naruto had another nightmare." Kyuubi sighed then added, "If its possible, it might be a dream regarding how he turned into a baby."

Temarisighed, "I see, that explain whyI heard Naruto scream. Well, when he is finally able to talk better, we'll ask him about his dreams. Anyway, since I'm awake, can you go wake everyone else? We have a mission today and I want to leave earlier, that way we can come back earlier. Don't want to let my OOCHI BOOCHI GOOCHI DOUBLE KOOCHI NARUTO WAIT!" Temari exclaimed as her eyes turned into hearts.

Kyuubi starred at Temari, coughing, he managed to say, "Yes ma'am." He then turned around to walk back down the hall way, when Temari called out. "By the way, can you also go and get Gai after you're done? I want him to be here earlier to babysit Naruto."

Kyuubi nodded then added,"Right, I'll be going to wake them up now." With that, he starts walking toward Kankuro's room.

When Kyuubi finally reach Kankuro's door, he use one of his tails to open the door while creating as less voice as possible. When the door got big enough, he sneaked in quietly. Reaching for Kankuro's bed, he peeked at Kankuro. There he is, sleeping without his face paint and only wearing a pair of baggy pajama pants and snorting loudly. Chuckling, Kyuubi openned Kankuro's drawer to find a purple make-up kit. Suddenly, a mischievious grin spread across his face, from ear to ear.

---after five minute---

"Okay Temari-onee-chan, i woke them up." Kyuubi said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Thank you so much Kyuubi. Oh, just to repay for your deeds, I made your favorite." Temari said as she pats Kyuubi on the head.

Kyuubi's eyes suddenly become plate-size and his mouth starts to water. "Y-you mean..."

"Yup, raspberry pancake with Payday's face on it." Temari smiled when suddenly, bright light shone through the room.'Holaluya' was heard, as birds chirped along. A rainbow spread behind Kyuubi as skittle fell down. "YES! THANK YOU! OH RASPBERRY PANCAKE! HOW I AWAIT FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY AND---"

"AH SHUT UP! IT'S SEVEN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING DAMN IT." Kankuro exclaimed as he walk down the stairs with his arms cross.

"Kankuro that's no-- he...hehehehe...HEHAHAHAHAA!" Temari was cut off when she burst out laughing..

"What? What are you laughing at!" Asked Kankuro.

"Oh no, it's just... phewww hehehehehHEHEhahahaHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA"

"Temari, what's going-" Gaara was also cut off as he walked into the room. Staring at Kankuro's face for a while, something like a chuckle was heard as Shukaku laughs historically. "You...should...look in the mirror." Gaara said pointing to Kankuro.

"Why?" Kankuro is now confused.

"Just go."

Leaving the kitchan, which is full of Temari's laughter, Kankuro reaches for the bathroom. When he walk pass the stair, a blur suddenly rushed down and tackled him. "GOOD MORWING KANKURWO-NII-SAN!...hehe your face is prewtty!"

"NARUTO! Can you get off me? And why is my face pretty?"

"Prewtty flowers." Says Naruto as a he does his fox grin, making the necklace given by Tsunade dangle.

"Flowers...my face...flowers...on my face...wait...FLOWERS?" Kankuro suddenly push Naruto off him and dashed into the bathroom at a speed impossible for a human. Openning the light, he reached the mirror in split seconds and look into his own reflection. There,on his face, several flowers were painted in his purple face paint. On his forehead, three small letters were written. Narrowing his eyes,he leaned forward the mirror to take a closer look **Like it?Kyuubi **"KYUUBI! YOU LITTLE BASTERD!"

Back in the kitchen, Kyuubi is laughing on his back. Temari has a hand covering her mouth while another holding her stomach. Gaara has a small smile at the corner of his mouth. His eyes no longer look unpleasant, instead, they looks like one of those that brothers have when around siblings. In another word, his eyes now express love. The dark circles around his eyes are now completely gone. He let his hair grow until it covered up the "love" tattoo. Buthis stillhot, sizzling...(Payday starts daydreaming)_Shukaku, will you stop laughing? Any more and I'll for sure get a headache. **Sorry brat, I just can't help it. **Figures_.

"GOOD MORNING TEMAWI-ONEE-CHAN AND GAAWA-NII-SAN!" Naruto walks into the room and waved his hand at his siblings. "G-good morning N-Naruto-kun." Temari says between laughter. Gaara just ruffle his hair. Kyuubi walked up to Naruto and licked him.

Then out of nowhere, Kankaru appeared behind Naruto with his hand clenching on to his puppet, Karasu. "KYUUBI, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Fire...wait...Hell's fire burns furiously behind Kankaro as half of his face became pitch black.

Kyuubi slowly backing away while laughing sheepishly. "Ehehehehee... calm down now Kankuro-nii-san."

"Calm down... calm down? I'll come down alright, afterI get myself a FUR JACKET!"

Just when he was about to rush towards Kyuubi, an oversized fan suddenly smashed him on the head knocking him face first onto the ground. "Kankuro, come down. It's not that big of a deal. Also, hurry up and eat your breakfast, we're leaving early for the mission...hehehehe"

"Yes ma'am..." With that, Kankuro, who's still a bit irritated, glared at Kyuubi and got up. Naruto and Gaara were already eating their breakfast. Kyuubi had finished his a while ago. As for Temari, she decided to clean her fan for a bit.

-----Few minutes later (Gai arrived in the middle of it)-----

"Okay, everyone ready to leave?" Temari asks, straping her oversized fan on her lace-like belt. Earning a nod from both Kankuro and Gaara, Temari turned to face Gai, who has Naruto sitting on his left shoulder. "Thanks for doing this for us."

"NO PROBLEMO!" Gai exclaimed while giving her a good guy pose. Kankuro sweat dropped, as he still wonders how bushy Gai's eyebrows will get.

"Thanks again. Oh, by the way, don't let him near any sweets, and keep an eye on Kyuubi, he can be very troublesome at times. Also if Kyuubi wants to take Naruto out for a walk, follow them. If you lost Naruto...I swear I'll make the rest of your life... a living hell." Dark aura suddenly surrounds her, her eyes narrowed to a dangerous level, and then she went back to normal, with a smile on her face.

Gai backed away a little_...Dangerous youth_..."Y-YES, I WILL DO MY BEST ON TAKING CARE OF NARUTO TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS YOUTH WILL ALWAYS BURN ON!"Gai said, doing another good guy pose. Kankuro and Gaara swear that his teeth went 'bin'.

"Good. We'll be leaving now, bye." Putting on a smile, Temari and her brothers walked out the door.

"BYE, AND HAVE A SAVE TRIP. REMEMBER, THE POWER OF YOUTH WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL!"

"Bye Temawi-onee-chan, Kankurwo-nii-san, and Gaawa-nii-san." Says Naruto as he waves on Gai's shoulder. After the Sand Siblings are out of sight, Gai turn his head to face Naruto. "SO, NARUTO-KUN. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO TODAY?"

"Huh? You sawy someting?"

"OH MY GOD! KAKASHI, EVEN YOUR STUDENT, WHO IS SO KOWAII, HAS THAT HIP ATTITUDE OF YOURS! THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU A GOOD RIVAL!"Gai shouted with a river of tears pouring down his eyes as his right hand placed in a fist, was held up in the air. Naruto looked confused while Kyuubi chuckle a bit.

"OHAYO GAI-SENSEI!" At the sound of his voice, Gai look at the direction of the sound to see Lee standing in front of him. "AND OHAYO TO YOU NARUTO-KUN!"

"Ohayo Lee-nii-san." Replied Naruto with a huge grin on his face.

"Lee, what are you doing here?" Gai look confused. He told his team that they can have the day off. Not that he doesn't enjoy Lee's company, he just thought that he'll be training.

"I'M HERE TO HELP GAI-SENSEI." Answered Lee with a salute.

"LEE!" Putting Naruto next to Kyuubi, he ran to Lee and hugged him. The background suddenly changed to a clif-wall facing the ocean with a sun set.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee returned the hug.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

After a few more seconds, the two of them broke apart, both wiping the tears away from their eyes and give each other a good guy pose.

"THANK YOU LEE! NOW THEN, NARUTO-KUN, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO TODAY?" Turning to where he put Naruto, he realized that both Kyuubi and Naruto are gone and that their outline made of dash lines flash a bit.

"OH NOOOOOOOOOO! WHERE DID THEY GOOOOOO?" Gai screamed as he cupped both of his cheeks with his hands.

"GAI-SENSEI, LET HURRY UP AND FIND KYUUBI AND NARUTO-KUN! LETS SPLIT UP, WE CAN FIND THEM FASTER THAT WAY!"

"OK LEE! ALSO GO GET NEJI AND TENTEN TO HELP. WE MUST FIND HIM OR ELSE..." Gai starting shivering as he thought of Temari's expressions...

"ROGER!" With a salute, Lee dashed towards the training fields while Gai dashed towards the other side.

**At the other side of Konoha...**

Naruto sits on Kyuubi's back as they travel down the busy streets of Konoha. They sneaked away while Gai and Lee were having their manly moments...but than again...they always do.Therefore, Naruto and Kyuubi decided to walk around Konoha while finding some of their friends to play with. Most of the time they'll look for Konohamaru, but today they're looking for Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke.

"Where is Kakashiw no Hentai?" Asked Naruto.

"I don't know... why are you asking me?" Answed Kyuubi, "It's not easy finding him you know."

"Can you smell hiw?"

"Nope. Must be because of the barbeque resturant over there." Kyuubi use one of his tails to point at a resturant at the side of the street.

"Awww."

**Back to Gai's team**

"You WHAT? HOW CAN YOU LET THE OOCHI BOOCHI GOOCHI DOUBLE KOOCHI NARUTO SLIP AWAY!" Tenten shouted in Lee's face.

"T-Tenten, calm down... it's not my fau-" Lee was cut off when Tenten seems to be glowing with dark aura. _I knew telling her the news is a bad idea._ Lee thought to himself.

"Let's just start searching", Neji said in his usual cold tone.

"Hmph...whatever." Says Tenten through gritted teeth.

"Hehehehehehe... lets go." With that Lee dissappear, followed by Neji and Tenten.

**To Gai's location**

"Where can he be? How can I let this happen? If i can't find them before the Sand Siblings return, I'll be six feet underground after they're done with me." Gai was now very nervous. He is standing on top of the Hokage Monument with his hand shielding his eyes from the sun when he spot...a red and orange blur!

_There you are!_ Gai thought to himself as he dissappear in a poof of smoke.

**Back to Naruto and Kyuubi**

Kyuubi, with Naruto on his back, is now waking through the streets of Konoha, when suddenly Gai 'poof' in front of the two of them, "AHA, I FOUND YOU!"

Naruto and Kyuubi screamed at the same time before dashing away to the opposite direction in hope they can escape Gai and his ever so thick eye brows, leaving only a trail of dust behind. Gai was stunned at how fast they ran from him that it took him a moment to react. "HEY! COME BACK HERE!"

"NO WOY! SUPEW-FUFFY-BROWIE!" Naruto shouted back from the opposite end of the street, causing Gai's eye brow to twitch. _What's wrong with thick eye brows?_ Gai thought to himself before dashing after the two run-away trouble-makers.

**With Neji and Tenten**

"So, where do you think they'll be at?" Tenten ask as she turn her head in different direction in hope to spot the trouble-makers.

"I'll find out...Byakugan!" Neji activate his Byakugan and starts to scan the area around him. "There!" Neji says while pointing down a street.

Without wasting any more moment, the two of them ran down the street in hope to catch the two trouble-makers before they cause any more toubles. However, things are not what they thought to be.

**Back to the panicking Kyuubi and Naruto**

"CAN YOU GO FASTAR?" Asked Naruto as he clench to Kyuubi trying not to fall off. They were going extremely fast right now trying to run away from a praticular Jounin that just doesn't seems to give up.

"I'M GOING VERY FAST ALREADY! HOW FAST DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ANYWAY?"

"ME DON'T KNOW! FASTAR!" Naruto screamed out the demand. Turning his head, he spot Gai is still chasing after them, and he is gaining on them.

"WHAT THE...! NEJI! OUT OF THE WAY!" Kyuubi screamed, but it was too late. They run straight into Neji, knocking him into the air in the process. Tenten dodged just in time. Neji hit the ground a few second later, only to be accidentally ran over by Gai, stamping him into the ground while leaving foot prints on him. "SORRY NEJI!"

"I mew i sud nav meave ted boday..." Neji said still with his head inside the ground. Tenten immediately process to pull him out. After a few minutes of pulling, Neji was finally free. "Neji-kun, are you alright?" Tenten asked in a concernerd voice.

"Yea, i'm fine...Kun?" Neji raised his eye brow in curiousity.

"Well... you see... um... I meant...um...lets just get Naruto and Kyuubi..." Tenten blahed out before running after the trouble-makers. Neji smirked but snapped out of it and ran behind Tenten.

**At the bridge where Team 7 meet**

Sakura and Sasuke are waiting for their sensei. It has being two hours now and their sensei haven't arrive yet. _Where is that Kakashi?_ Sakura thought to herself.

"Yo!" Sakura's answer came as if on cue.

"You're LATE!" Shouted Sakura pointing a guilty finger at her sensei.

"While, you see, this old lady tripped on a rock and sprint her ankle, so I have to play the hero who save the densal in distress." Kakashi says while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"LAIR!"

"What do we do today?" Sasuke asked in his indifferent tone. Leaning against the rail is now getting to his nerve. _Damn, I missed the dobe... WTF! WHAT AM I THINKING!_

"Anyway, today we'll be cleaning Mrs. Daboto's lawn, and find that cat Taro (i think that's the cat's name, the one the they went after in the beginning of the serious)." Says Kakashi from behind his volume of Icha Icha Paradise.

"What! Again? I swear they cat really is annoying, but why are we getting those missions? We're all Chunnin now, remember?" Sakura murmured to no one in particular.

"Hn." Sasuke starts walking off towards Mrs. Daboto's house.

"Yea, Sasuke-kun is always right." Sakura blushed then followed the raven hair boy. Kakashi soon followed.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Huh?" That is all Kakashi has said before he was ran over by a red blur with nine fluffy tails.

"HI KAKASHIW NO HENTAI! BYE KAKASHIW NO HENTAI" Shouted Naruto from on Kyuubi's back as they dashed out of view.

"Was that Naruto?" Asked a very confused Sasuke while pointing off to the distance. He earned his answer as Gai's team dash pass them as while as yelling for Naruto to stop. Sasuke was almost ran over like Kakashi if he haven't dodge in time. "That answers the question..."

"MY BOOK!" A very farmiliar voice screamed. Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise is lying on the ground, some pages had being torn out thanks to the force of how fast Kyuubi ran, and the cover had a paw print on it. The members of Team 7 turned to see Kakashi kneeling next to his book as if it was actually a dying person. Only one thought went througth both Sasuke and Sakura's mind is _OH CRAP!_ before they jumped into the river to escape the ramage that was to be cause by their sensei a moment later. "KYUUBI! GET BACK HERE!" Kakashi sped off after the fox leaving a very large trail of dust behind.

"Should we go help Naruto?" Ask Sakura after she serfaced on the river.

"Yea, we should. You know what Kakashi can do when he is angry."

Both of them swim to the side of the river before they drag themselves out. After arriving at the surface, they started chasing after Kakashi before something happens.

**On the busy street of Konoha... again**

Team 8 is walking down the street heading for their training field. Kurenai is wearing her usual outfit, so are her students. Kiba is wearing his usual grey jacket with Akamaru walking next to him since his too big to rest on Kiba's head. Shino is wearing his white jacket with high color. Hinata is also wearing her large white jacket while walking behind all of her team mate. The only different between their usual outfit is that they all have a Chunnin vast on.

"I'm bored. I want to do missiosns." Kiba complained slightly. Akamaru bark in agreement with his master.

"The Hokage gave us today off, so I suggest having some team bonding time together through training." Kurenai says turning her head a bit, "beside, you don't want to be sitting in a tea house now do you?"

"Grrrrr... I'll have more fun baby-sitting Naruto." Kiba complained once more. Akamaru bark once again in agreement with his master.

"N-Naruto-kun." Hinata stuttered. Yes people, after all these years, Hinata still haven't give up on Naruto believing one day he'll return to normal.

"..." Shino, as usual, stay quiet.

"BARK BARK!"

"HUH? Someone is coming and at extremely fast speed?" Kiba was confused by Akamaru, who just barked out a warning. Looking at where Akamaru is looking, he suddenly see a trail of dust heading towards them.

"Huh?" Kurenai suddenly stopped. She ignore what Kiba said before but this is really strange. Hinata moved towards the side of the street a little while Shino and Kurenai just stand their ground.

"BARK!" Akamaru barked to his master then dash to the side.

"What was that Akamaru? Get off the stre-" Kiba never gets to finish his sentence when a red and orange blur shot pass him almost knocking him down just by the wind. Next came two green blurs, a pink one, then a white one. Next, a black blur, following by a red blur and a blue and white blur. "What the heck is going on?" Sakura, who Kiba recognized as the other red blur, ran back to Kiba and seems to be panicking.

"YOUMUSTHELP!KAKASHIGONECRAZYANDHEISGOINGTOKILLKYUUBIANDPROBABLYNARUTOANDHEHASHISSHARINGANEYEOUTANDITHINKHEISREALLYPISSEDANDANDAND"

"WOW, SLOW DOWN!" Hinata screamed at the top of her lung which make everyone turn face her, surprised by her level of voice. "S-sorry... c-can you repeat that o-one more time?"

"Err... while you see Kakashi-sensei went psycho because his book is ruined by Kyuubi accidentally. He is now chasing after him, who has Naruto on his back and he is using his Sharingan eye as well... ANYWAY, YOU CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST LATER, JUST HELP!" Sakura pratically screamed rigth into Hinata's face, making the shy girl to take a step back before taking off once more.

"Oh crap... Kakashi is going to kill Naruto and Kyuubi!" Kiba soon figure that out and so did Shino. They dashed off after Sakura. Hinata's face became even whiter despite her creamy white skin (if that's even possible) and dashed off as while. Kurenai just stood their, stunned by what's going on. However, she just sighed and walk towards their direction only to be dragged by a panicking Hinata a few steps later. _Why do i have to help?_ She questioned herself as Hinata dragged her througth the street.

**On the training field of Team 10**

"Come on Shikamaru, get your lazy ass over here!" A very pissed off Ino shouted at Shikamaru, who was lying on the grass watching the free-from-woman-screaming-clouds.

"DoI have to?" _Woman is so troublesome..._

"Come on Shikamaru, just train for a little at least." Asuma said rubbing the back of his neck, a cigerrate dangling in his mouth.

"Yea Shikamaru, lets get stronger together!" Chouji joined in remembering the promise he make to become stronger after the Sasuke rescue mission.

"(Sign) It's so troublesome." Sitting up, Shikamaru yawned before standing up and walk slowly towards his former team.

The four years didn't do much to change Team 10. Ino is still noisy and a Sasuke-freak, but she did get to be promoted to a Chunnin. Her blonde hair grow longer during the years, but she kept them above her shoulder since it gets in her way now that she's a Chunnin. Chouji still looks the same, but slightly skinner. He is also a Chunnin, however, he still eats a lot. He doesn't eat when he is training, however you can expect to see him with a bag of chips when he's off. Asuma, well, is still Asuma, so yea.

"Can you walk any more slower?" Ino was now completely pissed off. The only thing that keepsher from going into psycho-bitch mode is that she sort of like Shikamaru, but she'll never admit that to anyone.

"Hai h-" Once again, someone never gets to finish their sentence, for he is ran over by Kyuubi and Naruto on his back, following Team Gai, a psychotic Kakashi, Team 7, Kiba and Shino, then Hinata dragging Kurenai (poor Shikamaru). All of they leave a trail of dust behind.

"..." All members of Team 10 is speechless as they eye the unconscious figure of Shikamaru. A long silence followers. Ino is the one that broke the silence.

"KYUUBI YOU BASTERD!" She ran after the said fox and his company in an extremely scary pace while dragging Chouji by his scarf.

"I think i better go stop them before someone gets hurt..." Asuma said to himself while picking up Shikamaru from the ground and ran after the massive company of ninjas.

**In the Hokage's office**

The phone is ringing off the hook complaining about the big commotion caused by Kyuubi and Naruto.Therefore, our favor Hokage Tsunade is having a headache just answering them. Rubbing the bridge of her noise, she decided to deal with everything herself.

"I'm going down there to take care of a specific fox. Find Jiaraya and tell him to help as while." Once Tsunade finished, she walk out the office rolling up her sleeves murmuring curse after curse with an occasional death threat. All the Jounins and Chunnins dock out of the way to see a very _very_ pissed off Hokage walking down the hall way, all face paled at the site. "Stupid fox, you'll pay for this headache."

**Back with Kyuubi and co**

The ninjas chasing Kyuubi is either trying to help or kill him. Gai's team is mainly trying to catch him in the exception of Neji, who wants Kyuubi to pay for stamping the Hyuuga genius into the ground. Kakashi... you know about him... so his former students are trying to stop him. Team 8 with the exception of Kurenai is trying to stop Kakashi as while. Kurenai is still being dragged by Hinata. As for Ino, she just need to blow off some steam, and Kyuubi happens to be the unfortunate target for her anger. Chouji is being dragged by his scarf by Ino, and Asuma is trying to stop Ino. If you are still confused, please refere to the chart below:

Gai, Lee, Tenten --catch-->Kyuubi and Naruto

Neji --kill--> Kyuubi

Kakashi --kill--> Kyuubi

Sasuke and Sakura --stop--> Kakashi

Team 8 (beside Kurenai) --stop--> Kakashi

Ino --kill-->Kyuubi

Chouji --dragged by--> Ino

Asuma with Shikamaru on his shoulder --stop--> Ino

Jiaraya --...--> Errr...

Tsunade --stop/kill--> **ALL OF THE ABOVE**

Any more confusion, then you're an idiot like Payday... (Payday smacks APH on the head)

(at the end of the day)

"Naruto-kun, i'm home!" Temari exclaimed as she opens the door to their house, but no answer came. "That's strange.. OOF!"

An orange blur suddenly rushed out the kitchen and jump onto Temari taking her completely off guard. "TEMARI-ONEE-CHAN!"

Temari beamed at Naruto as she picked him up and said, "Hello Naruto-kun, do you miss me?"

Naruto nod furiously at that question, then he point at the kitchen, "Bad guys!"

"Huh?" Temari was confused, but decide to take a peek. Beside, it wouldn't hurt to know what his talking about... right? As she slowly apporch the kitchen, she heard a moan of pain from within. _Kyuubi must really make who ever it is suffer... yet again, it might be Gai..._ Temari thought, slightly amused by a beat up Gai. Kankuro and Gaara followed silently behind.

As their head pop into the kitchen, they saw what must be the most funniest thing in the whole world. Inside their kitchen is a pile made of shinobis, but what really amused them is who they are. Next to the pile, Kyuubi is sleeping, curving himself into a ball with mallet-sama lying next to him. Kankuro's face paled a bit at the sight of mallet-sama. Next to Kyuubi is Tsunade, who is the bottom most person. She has her face resting on her left hand while her right keep drumming the floor. She is strong enough to hold the weight but not strong enough to lift it (don't ask why). On top of her is a unconsious Jiaraya. Then on top of him is Team Gai. Lee and Gai are commenting on about youth and shout random stuff every few seconds. Neji is pinned down by Tenten, who is enjoying the moment. Then the next layer is Kakashi, complaining on why Sasuke, Kiba, Shino, Hinata,and Sakura had to pin him down while Sakura is arguing with Ino on who Sasuke like the most, as for the young Uchiha, he just signed. Kiba is next to Sasuke to be unconcious, so is Shino, but we can't really tell due to his sun glasses. Hinata is blushing furiously for being on top of Kiba, while Akamaru is sleeping next to Kyuubi... a loyal dog indeed. On the top most layer is Chouji sitting on top of everyone eating a bag of chip with Payday. Shikamaru is still unconsious and is laying on the floor next to Asuma, who still has a cigerrate in his mouth. Kurenai is sitting on the dining table and drinking a cup of tea with Aznpuffyhair...

"What happened here?" Temari asked in a very confused tone that contain a bit of amusment. Kankuro is still slightly pale and staring at mallet-sama intensely. Gaara just raise an eyebrow in question. _Kyuubi must be fake sleeping again._ Thought Gaara while Shukaku agree silently in his mind.

"Why don't you ask your fluffy friend over there." Said a very unhappy Tsunade while pointing to Kyuubi, who just stirred in his sleep.

"We will alright." Kankuro had this evil smirk on his face, which is even scarier than Gaara's psychotic smile during the first Chunnin exam.

"We'll do that in the morning, Naruto needs to go to bed. Say bye-bye to everyone Naruto-kun." Temari exclaimed happily with a smile that can light the room.

"BYE TSUNADE-OBAA-CHAN, ERO-SENNIN, KAKASHIW NO HENTAI, AND EVERYONE ELSE!" Kakashi sweat dropped at this new nick name of his. _Now i know how Jiaraya felt when being called ero-sennin..._

With that, the Sand Silblings went to each others room. Temari tug Naruto in before going into her room. They all decide to left Kyuubi along to sleep in the kitchen. Kurenai went home after pulling Hinata out of the pile. Chouji jump off after finishing his bag of chips. Aph and Payday teleported back to the author's room... Asuma woke Shikamaru up and they went home as while. Tsunade pull herself out after Chouji jumped off and went home too. Sasuke and Sakura tied up Kakashi before carrying him home. Kiba and Shino were put into the guess room. As for Jiaraya... he gets the couch. Tsunade dumped him on the couch in a bit feeling pity for him. (Did i forgot anyone?) Team Gai went their seperate way, which contain a blushing Tenten and a energetic Lee and a brooding Neji as well as a tired Gai.

The day ended with that. Everyone is exhausted from all the chasing and cursing. But all were grateful in a strange way to Kyuubi for some reason. Why, don't ask, they just do. As for Kyuubi, he had this evil smirk on his face when the kitchen light is turned off. _We should do that more often than not._ Kyuubi thought before he really went to sleep.

Author's Note (important message):

PD: OHAYO YOUTHFUL READERS! Sorry for not updating... (glares evily at aznpuffyhair)... someone thought it was too troublesome. But then again, we managed to finish a wonderful flower blooming chapter! We made this chapter way longer just to make up for not updating in a while. Anyways, enjoy and R&R. TOODALOOZ! (POOF)

APH: It is not my fault... i'm drained of imagination so i need to rest to replanish them. (Sakura suddenly pop out and shout "LAIR" then dissappear again) Anyway... i am very sorry to let you guys wait this long. Payday and me are deciding when to end the story. She decides on a short one ending on chapter 10 while i'm thinking about longer once. Your vote, just do it in the review, and also give me some idea by e-mail or review if you want to see something 'special' in the story. Buh-bye! (POOF)


	5. Decorating Disaster

In a room with a huge television screen, Aznpuffyhair and Payday sits on different couches watching Princess Diary 2 when foot tappings were heard. Aznpuffyhair turned around and saw who it is. It is the two and only chibi Naruto and Kyuubi staring at us with impatient in their eyes. 

APH: What do you two want?

Naruto: It's my fifth birthday and YOU TWO ARE SITTING HERE DOING NOTHING!

APH: HUH? Oh, now i remember...

Naruto: YOU BETTER! OR I'M CALLING TEMARI-ONEE-CHAN!

APH: AAAHHHH! NOT HER, I'LL GO, I'LL GO! (rushed out the room)

PD: (still watching while eating cheese cake with Kyuubi) _munchmunchmunch_...

Naruto: (glare at Payday) Payday-nee-chan...

PD: YES YOUTHFUL CHILD? (grabs another cheese cake)

Naruto: This means drastic measure... (grab the remaining cheese cake and run)

PD: OHYEEE, MY CHEESECAKE! (rush after Naruto with Kyuubi)

APH: I just remember... (perform ox, horse, snake, then tiger) STORY TELLING NO JUTSU!

WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!

"Time sure flies when you're occupied." Temari said, while glancing at the calender, "tomorrow is Naruto's birthday."

"What? It's almost the brat's birthday?" Asked a lazy Kankuro sitting on the couch. _Now that she reminds me, what should I get him?_

"Yes it is. And can you stop calling Naruto 'the brat'? He's our brother after all."

"Fine. But I still want to call him 'the brat' " Kankuro reach for the remote lying on the table in front of the couch, only for it to be swept away by sand. "HEY!"

"I'm still watching that." Gaara said while pointing to the television. _**Hey brat, what are we watching again? **Payday dancing... **AH, MY FAVORITE SHOW! **QUIET DAMN IT! _Like that, another argument went inside Gaara's head with Shukaku.

"Should we throw him a party? I'm sure he'll like it." Temari put a finger to her chin while looking up

"I'm not helping, it's too troublesome." A lazy Shikamaru said from his position on the couch. Temari threw him a glare.

"Oh my goodneass... Can't you guys be more enthusiastic about it?" Ask a slightly pissed Temari.

"Yes, but we don't want to." All three boys said at the same time.

There is now a vein threatening to pop any moment on Temari's forehead. _I wish i have my fan RIGHT NOW to give them a heck of a beating._

As if on cue, Kyuubi suddenly walk down the stair following byNaruto. "Kyuubi, come here!"

On hearing his name, Kyuubi is immidiately next to Temari. "Yes Temari-onee-chan. Can i help you with some thing?"

"Kyuubi, you can help me find my fan or you can just beat the crap out of those three **now**."

"Ohhhhhh, gladly." Kyuubi put on an evil smirk as his eyes glowed for a second. Shikamaru and Kankuro's face paled while Gaara just sit there watching television. "I'll give you a five second head start. 5... (the boys jump up) 4... (all three of them reached for the door) 3... (Shikamaru pulls the door open) 2... (they all left in a flash) 1... READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!" With mallet-sama in his tails, Kyuubi dashed after the boys in an extremely fast pace.

"Well, at least Kyuubi gets them to do something." Temari glance over to Naruto and smiled, "I wonder where's my fan..."

**With Shikamaru and Kankuro**

Inside a dark alley, Shikamaru and Kankuro are panting. After running for what seems like a hundred miles per hour, you have to admit it gets tiring.

"Do you think (pant) that we (pant) lost him?" Shikamaru said while panting, hoping that he did loose Kyuubi.

"I don't know (pant), you know (pant) that (pant) he got a (pant) very sensitive nose." Kankuro answered Shikamaru's answer, but as if on cue... again, a very farmiliar presence suddenly appeared behind them. Both boy turn to see Kyuubi, grinning from ear to ear, slowly apporching them with mallet-sama.. "Why did I ever bother to answer."

"Good point, RUN!" With that, the two boys dashed off again in search for a place to hide.

**With Gaara**

"So, Gaara. Tell me again why your in my office." Tsunade ask the red haired boy who just popped in her office a few seconds ago. She was working then, signing papers after papers before half of her room is full of sand. Jiaraya is standing near the window looking out of it with his arms crossed, looking bored like he always does.

"Hiding." That is all Gaara said before he fell silence again.

Tsunade look up from her paper work and give Gaara a confused look. "Hiding from who? Your sister or that little fur ball?"

"The fur ball."

"I see..." Tsunade lower her head and starts to sign more documents. "So I take it that your sister want something from you and you refused?"

"Not really."

"Just give it up Tsunade. You'll never get anything out of him anyway." Jiaraya turned around to look Gaara in the eyes. "So how is Naruto doing?"

"Fine."

"That's it?" Jiaraya arch an eye brow.

"Tomorrow is Naruto's birthday."

Both sennin look at each other before shurgging it off and return to what they were doing a few minutes ago..._wait, Naruto's birthday is tomorrow!_

**Back to Kankuro and Shikamaru**

"WHY DO WE ALWAYS GETS INTO STUFF LIKE THIS?" Kankuro asked Shikamaru, who kept running in full speed.

"WHY DO YOU ASK ME?" Was his reply to his 'partner.'

"DON'T ANSWER MY QUESTION WITH ANOTHER QUESTION! JUST ANSWER THE FREAKING QUESTION!"

"WHY DON'T YOU ASK THAT SISTER OF YOURS! I'M SURE SHE KNOWS WHY!"

"WOULD YOU TWO STOP TALKING AND KEEP RUNNING! WHAT'S THE FUN IF YOU TWO AREN'T DOING YOUR BEST?" Says Kyuubi, who is slowly gaining on them with mallet-sama still in his tails. _Note to self; don't destroy village..._

To Kyuubi's surprise, that actually works since both boys stop talking and ran faster than before. _Guess i'll have fun after all_.

**Outside the Sand Sibling's house**

Naruto is playing with the sand box on their back yard while Temari and Hinata,who just arrived a few minutes ago, sit under the shade of a tree. Temari had fallen asleep because of the warm weather while Hinata has a small warm smile on her face. Her pupil-less eyes set their glaze at the chibi Naruto, who struggles to build a sand castle.

_He look so innocent... not that he's not innocent before. _Hinata thought to herself before Naurto screamed.

"AAHH? What's this..."

Hinata was slightly startled to heard Naruto yell in surprise. "N-Naruto-kun, w-what happened?"

"This. There is something under here!" Said a confused Naruto as he poke the spoke he was talking about.

"Huh?" Hinata slowly rise to her feet and walk to Naruto. When she reach him, she lean forward and looked at the spot Naruto was poking. "T-Temari-san's fan?"

"Huh? Did someone call me?" Temari ask with half openedeyes still under the tree. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she stiffle a yawn and then raised to her feet then slowly walk to where Hinata and Naruto is. "...t-that's my fan... what is it doing in the..."

Naruto looked up and put a finger on his chin, "I think Kankuro-nii-san hide it."

"I see... Naruto-kun i'll be right back, but don't worry...at least you don't have to worry. Oh and Hinata, can you watch over him?"

"H-hai!" Hinata almost couldn't speak cause of excitement.

"Bye Temari-onee-chan!"

Waving, Hinatta picked Naruto up and walked inside the house. "N-Naruto-kun, w-what do you w-want to do t-today?" Hinata asked as she smiles sweetly at the super duper cute Naruto.

"T.V.!" Naruto beamed at Hinata.

"H-Hai, Naruto-kun!"

**Somewhere in Konoha**

"ACHOOO!"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO SNEEZE KANKURO!" Said a slightly panicking Shikamaru.

"WHAT! IT'S NOT LKE I CAN HELP IT!"

"AHA! I FOUND YOU BASTARD!"

Both boys turn to find...A WAY OUT!...JUST KIDDING... the boys turned around only to find a very pissed Temari with dark aura emmiting out of her. Her green eyes seems to glow in the shadow, as she place her oversized fan in her hands. On the sight of the most troublesome woman in his life, Shikamaru decides to back away a little at a time. When he is ready to run for his life, he found another one of the most troublesome animal in his life... Kyuubi! _bum bum bum_

"AH! TEMARI-ONEE-CHAN! Why are you here? Where is Naruto? And have you seen Gaara?"

"I'm here to teach a certain bastard for hiding my fan. Naruto is with Hinata. And no, I have not seem Gaara."

"Oh, anyway..."

Kankuro and Shikamaru glance at each other. Both wish each other good luck and hope that neither of them will die from what is about to begin. The last thing that pierce the peaceful after noon of Konoha is the screaming of them two. As for Gaara... he fall asleep standing in the Hokage's office...

(The morning of Naruto's birthday)

"Ohayo!" Temari exclaimed as jounins, chunnins, and genins started arriving at the front door for Naruto's fifth birthday party.

"OHAYO TEMARI!" Sakura and Ino exclaimed before hugging Sasuke.

"Yo Temari!" Kiba shouted with an additiontal "Bark" from Akamaru, followed by the silence Shino.

"HEY TEMARI!" Lee and Tenten waved as Tenten drags Neji by the shirt.

After about five minutes, the two sennin arrived followed by a few more jounins and a lazyass Chunnin. "Now where is Kakashi?"

"Probably late, as usual." Answer Sakura while trying to 'save' Sasuke from Ino-pig.

"Figures. If Kakashi is on time, Jiaraya would stop peeking in the women's bath tub." Tsunade put a grin on her face. That was more directed to Jiaraya than Kakashi.

"Okay people, listen up." Clapping her hand, Temari stopped all the conversationinthe living room."We have a few hours of time to decorate and buy all the supplies and food needed for this party." She pause a few second to let the info sank in. "Okay, we need different people to do different things. Hinata currently has Naruto out so that we can have the time we need to do the stuff needed for the party. Any question?" When no answers came, Temari continued. "Good. Now we just need to know whos doing what. Alright, who's buying the food and drinks? Kureina's team got it. Supplies? Asuma's team. Cake? Gai's team. The rest can either help one of them or stay here and help us clean. Now, as for Kaka-" Just when she thought every thing would be perfectly planned, the only person who could ruin it popped into the room.

"Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!" Almost everyone in the room yelled while pointing an accuse finger at our favorite ninja Kakashi.

"Well, you see, a cat was stuck on the tree so I have to save it.' Says Kakashi rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"LIAR!" Once again the same people yelled at the silver-haired Jounin.

"But it's the truth!"

"Yea, whatever. As I was saying, Kakashi's team, you'll definitly help with decoration. Now then, everyone know what they're doing?" Everyone in the crowd nodded. "Good, now, DISMISS!" With that, everyone went to do their stuff. Gai and Lee set a goal to pick the best cake Naruto ever had, or do 500 labs around Konoha, Neji is still sulking for having being drag here, and Tenten continue to drag him away to the bakery. Ino dragged away Shikamaru and Chouji just followed Asuma. Kurenai and her team decide to go to the super market to find something everyone would like. As for Kakashi's team... well... Sasuke was brooding about having to help decorate, Sakura is being extremely happy while Kakashi... is being himself, reading Icha Icha Paradise.

"Why do we **have** to help decorate?" Asked a brooding Sasuke with his leg crossed sitting on the ground.

"Because." That was all Temari said before turning around and walk into the kitchen.

"Because?"

"JUST BECAUSE! NOW GET YOUR BUTT MOVING BEFORE I TELL GAARA TO PEAL OFF YOUR SKIN!" At the end of the statement, Temari return to do whatever she does in the kitchen. All member of Team 7 turn to look at Gaara and find that he has a huge smirk on his face while sands keep shifting below his feet. All three of them swallowed hard before getting started to set up decoration.

**--Gai's team--Bakery---**

"Now...what kind of cake will Naruto like?" Tenten asked as she look through the large selection of cake.

"SOMETHING AS YOUTHFUL AS THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY! SOMETHING THAT WILL PREVAIL THROUGH THE OBSTACLES OF LIFE!" Lee exlcaimed as he place his fist up in the air along with balls of fire representing his eyes.

"Lee, you seem to be burning with the fire of youth today!"Gai shouted while the tidal wave crushes in the back ground.

"OH GAI-SENSEI! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR GREAT INFLUENCES!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

After a moment of manly embrace, the two spandex were interrupted by our favorite kunoichi. "DON'T YOU TWO EVER GET TIRED?" Tenten snapped after watching her teammate and sensei going at it again. A vain seems to be able to pop any second is thrubing at her forehead. Neji just stand there like what everyone expect him to do... act Neji-ish off course, WHAT ELSE?

"Anyway... as I was saying, the cake must be SOMETHING AS YOUTHFUL AS THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY! SOMETHING THAT WI-"

"Yea yea, we get it." Said a very annoyed Tenten before she stomp into the bakery leaving two very confused Green Beast of Konoha.

"What's with her?" Lee jabbed a thumb into the bakery, but shrugged it off as they all follow the 'slightly' pissed Weaponry Mistress.

**--Kurenai's and Asuma's team-- Supermarket**

"Okay people, we don't have all day. With Hinata short, we will have to work faster. Now seperate and grab any snack or drink you think is apporpriate."Kurenai finished her order and gave a few second to sank in the information. "Right, now, START!" At her command, Kiba and Shino went their seperate way. "Now then, where do they keep the sushi?"

"That was fast. I never expect her team to work that fast." Said a very impress Asuma while rubbing his chin.

"This is too troublesome." Shikamaru, in his usual Chunnin outfit, said while placing his hands behind his head.

"Still, lets just go and finish grabbing the cups and plates. Chouji, you go get the napkin. Ino, stick with Shikamaru. I'm going to make sure Kurenai get the right types of sushi." All three of his former student raised an eye brow at their former sensei until they realized **that **horrible inccident.

_"Kurenai, are you done picking out the sushi?" Asuma complained as he dangle his cigarette in his mouth. _

_"Yes, I think I got it!" The brunette shouted thrusting a box of sushi into the smoking-shinobi's hands. Feeling irritated, Asuma opened the box of sushi only to find..._

_BEEEP--SPECIALWARNING FROM AUTHORESS-- _

_((Perhaps we should stop right here before you blind your eyes with what's inside the box. If you do want to know...nah... I suggest you don't...besides, having a lifetime amount of nightmare is very risky if you ask me. Let's just say what was inside the box was green, moshy, gooey, not-a-kind-of-human-eating-food, and something that look like APH's face. Scary enough? I think so.))_ (APH knock Payday on the head for above comment)

**--Kakashi's team and the Sand Siblings-- Sand House Hold**

"Kakashi-sensei, can you at least help us?" Asked an exhausted Sakura from cleaning the back yard.

"Sakura, just think of it as stimula training." Kakashi said while still reading his beloved 'book'.

"Lets see, the table is set up, chairs, not yet. Oh yea, Kankuro, grab more chairs will you?" Temari asked holding onto a checklist.

"Hai. Why do I have to do it?" The last part was murmured out. Temari's eye brow twitched slightly, but she ignored the comment.

"The yard is done cleaning." Temari look behind her shoulder to see who's voice it belongs to, only to find the Uchiha with his hands in his pocket.

"Thanks a lot, now with decoration." Temari threw a huge box at Sasuke, who caught it before walking off. "Kurenai and Asuma should be back now." Thats when she spot them and their team walking in with huge grocery bags in their hands. "About time."

"Yea, it'll be faster if Chouji stop trying the food sample." Said Kiba, who is holding two bags in each hands that contains soda.

"What? I can't help it that I'm hungry can I?" Asked a slightly annoyed Chouji, who still has a bag of chip in his hand.

"..." As always, Shino has no comment.

"AAAHHHH!"

"What the heck... what's going on? What just happen? And can someone please explain why Jiaraya is five feet underground?" Temari has this pissed yet amused face on her.

"H-H-HE GRAB MY ASS!" Exclaim a rather angered Jounin.

Everyone who know Jiaraya sighed and shook their head before saying he deserves it.

Temari slap her foreheadwhile murmuring, "This is going to be a long day." As if on cue...yet another again... several shurikens came flying through the house along with two green blobs dashing through the back yard.

"COME BACK HERE YOU EYEBROWS!" A pink and black blur shouted as eight kunai came flying out pinning the two green blobs on the wall. "OH YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD!" The bunned head female screeched as she cracks her knuckles.

"OH MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER TENTEN!" Gai exlcaim starring at the now-totally-pissed-off-weapon-mistress with dark aura surrounding her. "IT WASN'T OUR FAULT THAT OUR YOUTH TOOK OVER US AND MADE US DIP OUR FINGER IN EVERY CAKE TO TASTE THE SWEET FIRE EMITTING IT!" Gai exclaimed again, but with the sun shinning brightly onto his blobbed head.

Feeling irritated to the bones, Tenten closed her eyes and count to ten. _Try not to kill them...try not to kill them. _Tenten thought as she was then held back by the Hyuuga progidy with PMSed facial expression. "Tenten...calm down."

"OH I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I PEEL THOSE SPANDEX TO PIECES! AND DIPPING YOUR FINGER? YOU MEAN DIPPING YOUR FIST!" Tenten shouted making Neji's eardrum shiver.

Looking from inside the house, Temari sighed as she then turned back to her checklist and made herself a mental note. "_Keep Gai and Lee away from Tenten during the party."_

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

PD: Ah sorry guys for the**_ total lack of humor_**. All of our ideas are on the next chapter which is: Druken Birthday, expect it to be longer and way better. Also, we need your vote!

'Should we add romance in the story? If so, which couples?

Oh and its decided that the story will last longer than ten chapter, which means we'll be taking the age and stuff slower.

APH: Once again, we're sorry for the **_total lack of humor_**. We assure you that the next story will be better.

Naruto: WHAT? I'LL HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

APH: It seems like it...

Naruto: I'M TELLING TEMARI-ONEE-CHAN! (Rush off to get Temari)

APH: AAAHHHHHHH! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Rush off to stop Naruto)


	6. Drunken Birthday!

In front of the computer, Aznpuffyhair is typing furiously while Naruto is standing next to him with a walkie talkie in his hand. Payday is munching on cheesecakes again, so is Kyuubi. Aznpuffyhair glance over to Payday and felt rather pissed. So despite Naruto's threat, he ask: 

APH: Why isn't Payday doing anything?

Naruto: Because.

APH: (vein thrubing on forehead) Just becasue?

Naruto: Yea... pretty much.

APH: Can you put down that walkie talkie? It making me feel uneasy.

Kyuubi: APH, it's no use. He won't let go of that until you finish.

PD: _munchmunchmunch..._

APH: Figures. (glare at Payday. Suddenly a light bult turn on in his head) Naruto...

Naruto: Yea?

APH: THERE'S ITACHI WALKING OVER HERE!

Naruto: (turn around) WHAT? WHERE?

APH: (snatch walkie talkie away) HAHAHAHAHA, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!

Naruto: AAAAAAAHHHH. COME BACK HERE!

PD: (stand up and preform ox, horse, snake, then tiger with cheesecake stiill in her mouth) SPORY BELLING NO TITSU!

WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!

* * *

"PEOPLE HURRY UP! WE DON'T GOT ALL DAY NOW DO WE?" Ask an irritated Temari as she over see the decoration. 

"Hai hai." Answer an under enthusiastic Shikamaru.

"YOU BETTER. AND JUST ONE HAI IS ENOUGH!"

_Sheesh, why does she has to be like my mother? _Shikamaru ask himself before climbing up a ladder to hang decoration.

It is almost the time for Naruto's party. Seems there will be a lot of people attending it, they decide to do it on the back yard. Every thing is almost in chaos. Lee and Gai is still pinned (refere to last chapter), Jiaraya is still five feet underground (no one wants to help him up... seems he deserves it), and most people are arguing on stuff. Kankuro is still complaining, Sasuke is still brooding, and Neji... is as always, acting Neji-ish. Tenten had calm down a few minutes after they arrived and Neji thank God for she speared his life. YES PEOPLE, NEJI IS AFRAID OF THE PMSED TENTEN! Surprising what those years can do to you.

"CHOUJI! STOP EATING ALREADY!"

"B-but Ino, I'm hungry." Chouji protested as Ino grab the bag of chip away from him.

"Don't start again, it's too troublesome." You know who say this.

"ALL OF YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Temari's head suddenly pop in front of all three of them with horns growing out of her head.

"H-HAI!" Team 10 answered with a salute. _She is very scary..._ All three thought at the same time.

Suddenly Kakashi pop in front all four of them, "TEMARI!" All four shinobi gasped. They felt a shiver done their spine until... "do you have any more nails?" Asked Kakashi in a sweet voice.

"..." All four were silent.

"So... do you?"

"YOU BAKA!" Temari and Ino shout as they both punch Kakashi in the face and sent him flying.

Kakashi hit the wall a few second later and moan in pain as he slid down the wall. "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! EVER!" Both girls shouted at his direction despite the fact that he might not heard them. Wait, who am I kidding. Half the village heard that asI speak. It'll be a maricle if Kakashi didn't heard that... but then again, he always surprise me.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura was immidiately by his side and was looking for injury. Sasuke just slowly walk over to where his teammate and former sensei is. _Damn...I better not piss Temari off... better yet, any kunoichi as the matter of fact._Thought Sasuke as he look at Kakashi's suppose-to-be-unconsious form.

"Now that baka is taken care off, Gaara, get Jiaraya out and try to fill that hole please." Temari ask in her all-so-sweet voice that can seduce almost everyone. Gaara just look at her for a second before using his sand to drag Jiaraya out and fill the hole with guess what? Sand. (APH look at readers with an are-you-stupid-or-are-you-stupid look) Asuma soon dragged a table over it to cover it up.

"It's almost done. Now we just need to hang the light and the big sign." Says Kankuro while Karasu is still hanging on decorations. _I never know that Karasu is also good for this._Thought Kankuro as he give different commands to Karasu through his fingers.

"W-what happend?" Ask Jiaraya as he regain consiousness.

"You were knock out by her (point to a Jounin) and was out cold for at least an hour... I think." Says Tsunade while smirking.

"What did I do again?"

Everyone signed at Jiaraya's statement. The Jounin from before has a vain threatening to brust at her forehead. Sasuke and Neji resume their Mr. Brooding after that. Gaara just stood there, not even flinching.

"What time is it?" Ask Temari still looking at her clip board.

Hearing the question, Sakura look at her watch she got two years ago. "It's an hour before they're back."

"AAAAHHHH. NO TIME TO WASTE. HURRY UP PEOPLE. CHOP CHOP!" Everyone return to what they were doing previously. Everyone except Tsunade of course. She after all is the Hokage, but she felt left out.

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can help in?" Tsunade ask like the umpiteth(hope i spell it right) time.

"There is one now. Keep Jiaraya away from doing perverted things." Answer Temari while using her pancil to point at Jiaraya.

"Sounds easy enough." So the 'baby-sitting' began.

"Now where did I put that sign?"

(an hour later)

Naruto is bouncing beside Hinata. After a whole day of fun at the park, Naruto is satisfied. He even forget about today is his birthday. Beside him, the shy kunoichi has a weak smile on her face with a slight blush. Knowing thatNaruto is happy, is enough to make her happy. Now the two of them are heading towards the Sand Siblings house. Hinata remember the plan and think of a way to keep Naruto in the house long enough for everyone to hide. When they reach the door, a light bult turn on inside her mind.

"N-Naruto-kun, can you wait in the l-living room for a few minutes?"

"HAI!" Answered Naruto in a very emthusiastic voice.

"I'll c-call you to come to the b-back yard when I'm ready. O-okay?"

"HAI!" Once again in that voice. Now Naruto sit on the sofa humming a tone he made up. Kyuubi later walk into the room trying to keep Naruto occupied. "Hello Kyuubi!"

"Hey Naruto. Want to try to catch my tails?"

"AAAAAHHH, I FORGOT, I STILL HAVEN'T GET MY REVENGE!" Now Naruto starts trying to grab Kyuubi's tails to tie them into a knot. Why... even I don't know.

**In the backyard**

Hinata rushed into the backyard to see everyone cleaning up. She spot Temari and rushed to her. "T-Temari..."

"Ah Hinata. All right everyone, lets finish up and FIND A PLACE TO HIDE!"

Now every shinobis inside the backyard double their speed. Once all the trash is cleaned out, genins, chunnins, jounins, and the two sennins find a place to hide. Everything seems to be normal beside the decoration, howeer, seems the day is already about seven o'clock, not many can see them. With everything according to plan, Temari gave Hinata the thumb up to signal her to call.

"N-Naruto-kun, you can come out now!"

**Inside the house**

Naruto heard Hinata call him. He glare at Kyuubi. "I'll get my revenge next time." Kyuubi just smirk.

Both of them walk out into the backyard. Since everything is dark, Naruto has no idea where Hinata is. "Hinata-nii-chan?" No answer, again, except louder. "Hinata-nii-chan?"

"Naruto, you won't get her like that."

"Then what do I do you big fur ball."

Kyuubi's tails twitch at the word fur ball, but decide to ignore it for his own good. "Now, Naruto, do you know what's one of God's famous phrase?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll teach you. It is LET THERE BE LIGHT!" Says Kyuubi doing a dramatic pose while standing on his hind leg. Naruto sweat dropped.

The signal is given. The Jounin responsible for the light turn on the switch. The whole backyard light up like a Chirstmas tree. Every shinobis that were hiding jumped out and yell HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARUTO!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed in delight. He rushed to Temari and tackle her in joy then give her a bear huge. "I FORGOT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

"GEEZ CALM DOWN, OUCH, YOU'RE CRUSHING ME... UGH!"

"AH GOMEN AND THANK YOU TEMARI-NII-CHAN!"

Everyone can't help but laugh at the panicking figure that's running in a circle around Temari hugging his head and bombarding her with question after question.

Jiaraya could't take it anymore, so he walk over to the panicking figure and punching on the top of the head. "HEY, GAKI, CALM DOWN!"

"WHAT DO YOUDO THAT FOR ERO-SENNIN!" Naruto is now rubbing that sore spot Jiaraya hit him on. Temari can't help but giggle. Now it's her term to give Naruto a bear huge. "Happy birthday Naruto!"

"Can't... breath... air..." Temari notice that Naruto's face is turning blue so she let him go. He immidiately took in a large gulp of air.

"That's for the hug earlier." Say Temari with a smirk.

"AAAAAHHH, NOT FAIR. YOU'RE STRONGER!" Yelled Naruto and point a guilty finger at his sister.

"Gomen!" Temari said, but she stuck her tongue out later.

"Well, now that the birth day boy is here," Tsunade started, "WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? IT'S TIME TO PARTY!"

Now the party is underway. Many games were played and people enjoyed it, especially Naruto. One of the most fun game that was played in the party is 'Hit the Ero-sennin'. The requirement is to tie the legendary sennin Jiaraya on a rope while people just hit him while blind folded. It's highly popular amongs girls, and you know why. As for the guys... they have no opinion on it what so ever.

Everything is going fine until Lee decides to take a drink of water. On the table for drinks, there are juice, soda, water, or sake. Water and sake are put into cups already. They look the same on apparence, so you can tell what Lee is having problems about. He can't tell which one is which. His teammate and the Hokage forbid him to have any alcohol what so ever, but he still don't know why. Heck, there even is a law that states that Lee is NOT to have any sake or alcohol contained drink. So here he is, having problem deciding which one is which. He wants to take a drink of sake, but he know he can't, but he can't tell which one is water either.

"Hey Lee, what are you doing wasting the spring time of youth?"

Lee turn to see Gai grinning at him. "Gai-sensei, do you know which one is water?"

Gai rub the back of his neck, obviously not sure. "Lee, you might have to ask someone else... cause I really don't know."

"Oh... I guess I'll have to use my instinct." So Lee close his eyes, slowly reach out his hand until he felt a cup. He open his eyes to see what he got and see a clear substance inside the cup. "Well, here goes nothing." Slowly, he put the drink to his lips, ready to take in the clear substance. One the other side of the yard, one person is now panicking. "NO LEE, DON'T! THAT'S-"

"_GULPGULPGULP..._ why does it taste like-"

Gai take the cup from Lee and smell it. "OHH NOOO THIS IS---"

All three said at the same time, "SAKE!"

"A... eh... why am I here?"

"AH EVERY BODY OUT!" Tsunade commanded. Screamings are every where. There is a green blur that's circling the whole back yard. "NEJI, DISTRACT LEE!"

"Hn" Neji immidiately ran after the blur trying to hit him.

Tsunade turn to face Gaara. "Gaara, protect everyone with your sand."

Gaara just nod before using his sand to protect anyone that Lee can close to hit.

**Inside Lee's mind**

_Why is everything to blurry? What are everyone doing? _Lee is now lost in his own world. He wants to sleep, but judging by what everyone is doing, he rather not.

_HUH? Why is Neji attacking me? Why is everyone panicking? Is something wrong? Where are the bad guys_? Lee thought to himself. Unknown to him, he had been pounding just about everything that moves. Also, unbeknown to Lee, he had just punch Neji in the guts.

**Back in **reality

"OOF!"

"Neji!" Tenten rush to catch the flying Neji that's heading towards the wall.

CRASHBOOMKAHYEEHOSH

"SOMEBODY STOP HIM DAMN IT!" Tsunade is now furious while still trying to get everyone out. Lee is hard enough to handle when drunk during Genin, but now that he is a Jounin, it's even harder.

"I'm trying. Gai-sensei, need help NOW!"

"YOSH! BUT I CAN'T HARM MY KAWAII LEE!"

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR THAT!"

"SOMEBODY GET NARUTO!"

"HUH?"

Everyone that aren't out yet turn to see Naruto being chase by the blur, however, instead of fear, he is having a huge grin on him. "YEA! IT'S FUN. FUN! FUN! FUN!"

Everyone sweat dropped. "Guess we don't have to worry about that gaki for a while." Says Jiaraya, who is also trying to get everyone out.

**Inside Lee's mind**

_Huh? Why is Naruto-kun running from me? How come I can't get him? What am I doing anyway?_

**In reality**

"Hmm..." WACK "Ouch... what is that for Temari?" Kankuro ask while rubbing the spot where his sister had hit him.

"GO HELP HIM OR SOMETHING! JUST GET LEE DOWN!" Temari is now panicking. Who knows what a drunken Lee can do to a boy who just reach five years old.

"But-" Kankuro try to protest, but he never gets the chance.

"NOW!"

"Alright alright." Mumbling to himself about something like stupid sister and killing Naruto later. "HEY, LEE! OVER- OOF!" Kankuro was knock to the floor. His eyes become swirls, which tell everyone else that he is now unconscious.

"That baka." Says Temari as she put a hand to her forehand.

"Tsunade-sama, every Genins and Chunnins are out." One of the Jounin report.

"Very well. START OPERATION: KNOCK OUT!"

Now every Jounin rushed at the green blur, trying to plant a successful hit on Lee only to get knock back.

**In Lee's mind**

_Why is everyone coming at me? Did I do something wrong? _(Knock Genma in the chest, which sent him flying to the wall) _Why is Genma flying? _(Hit Kakashi in the guts) _Huh? Why is Kakashi flying too?_

**In reality**

Tsunade is frustrated. All the Jounin is either knocked back, sent flying, or sent face first into the ground. _Can't they do the job right?_ Tsunade thought to herself. She looks to her right to see Naruto clapping hard with a huge grin on his face. She sweat dropped. _That brat..._

"Hit him with the chair!"

Listening to Naruto, Asuma pick up a chair, but was punched in the stomach by Lee, which sent him crashing into Neji.

"Do A Thousand Years of Pain!"

Kakashi try to got behind Lee, but earn him a kick in the face.

"Hit him-"

"SHUT UP NARUTO!" Every Jounin shouted at the little blonde, who hide behind Gaara afterward.

Temari signed. _It's going to be a long night... again._

**In Lee's mind**

_Ah, that hurt... Why is everyone trying to hurt me? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? _(Lost balance and fall to the ground) _Hey, why am on the ground? _(Kick Kurenai on the back while lying on the ground) _Wow... the sky is so prewtty, makes me want to sleep._

"LEE, COME BLAH! YADABAHO..."

_Who is that? What is it saying? Why does the voice sound so farmiliar? _(Kick Neji on the leg then sent him flying with a kick on the chin) _Why is Neji flying again?_

**In reality**

"Ugh. That Lee. I sware I'll kill him someday." Says Neji while getting back to his feet, rubbing his chin in the process. "Tenten, pin him down!"

"Got it." Tenten pull out a few more kunais and throw them at Lee, who dodge with ease... again.

_I never know why she never ran out of weapon... _Thougth Temari as she observes in the side. Seems she can't use her fan, she rather not engage a Taijutsu master. As for Gaara, Tsunade forbid him to use his sand to stop Lee when he is drunk, afraid that he'll accidentally cause serious damage to him again. As for Kankuro, he is still unconscious. So yea...

**In Lee's mind**

_I still don't know why everyone is after me... and why is Tenten aiming at me again? _(Kick Tenten on the stomach) _Now why is Tenten also flying? Ahh..._

**In reality**

Lee just fall onto the ground and starts to snort. Everyone slowly apporch him. Gai is holding a rope, which just appear out of thin air. Everyone are ready to jump on Lee when suddenly...

"KONOBA SENPWUU!" A whirl wind kicked everyone away. "HA, YOU FELL FOR IT! THERE IS NO WAY I'M SLEEPING WHEN ALL OF YOU ARE SPARRING WITH ME! GAI-SENSEI, I DONE IT AGAIN!" Lee has tears of happiness flowing down his face. "HAHAHAHA--------" **CHEESECAKE NO JUTSU!**

Suddenly, out of no where, Payday comes out holding a plate of cheesecake. Therefore, with her mad aiming skill, she threw several cheesecake at the drunken eyebrows.

"YOSH! CHEESECAKE KNOCKOUT NO JUSTSU!" Payday screamed as she then grabbed a tree-size cheesecake out of her hair and whacked the green taijutsu master into the ground.Grinning while laughing historically, Payday went over to Naruto, and gave him a big-bear hug. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARUTO! I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU..." Naruto stiffen at the word 'special' as he stares at Payday with curiosity. "THIS SPECIAL THING IS VERY SPECIAL, THAT IS WHY ITS CALLED SPECIAL...HAHAHA I FEEL SO INTELLIGENT WITH YOUTH IN ME!... ANYWAYS..." Payday paused before stuffing her hand into herpocket, "BEHOLD...A PICTURE OF ME!" Payday exclaimed as she holds up herpicture, with God's light shinning onto it. While Payday blab on about her gift, everyone sweatdropped and fell animate style.

"This gift..." Naruto said softly while tears sprang from his eyes. "This gift...is so...THIS GIFT IS SO SPECIAL!"

"YES NARUTO!" Payday shouted while rivulets of tears stream down her eyes.

"THANK YOU PAYDAY!"

"NARUTO!"

"PAYDAY!"

"NARU--------" APH comes out of no where and smacks Payday into the ground for writing such nonesense. "Heh, sorry guys, I'll be going now." Aph said before dragging Payday into a teleporting blob.

"Well... at least Lee is taken care of... as for the house..." Tsunade scan the surrounding. There are unconscious shinobis every where. The back yard is littered with craters. On the wall, many indents of shinobis can be seem while some were sitting with their back to it, also unconcious.

"We'll take care of it." Gaara said as sands starts to clean up the nearly-destroyed back yard.

"Good, cause that's less paper work for me!" Exclaimed the fifty-something year old Hokage. "I'm going to sleep. I got piles and piles of paper in my office to sign."

"Bye Hokage-sama." Temari wave to the Hokage as she walk towards the toward.

"See you guys tomorrow." The exhausted Hokage wave back before disappear out of sight.

"Now then... as for all the unconscious Jounins.. Gaara, you're coming with me to put them in the hospital." Temari said while scupping a sleeping Naruto, whose now holding onto the SEXY PAYDAY'S PICTURE,off the grass.

"Hn." That's all Gaara said before sands starts to form platforms under the unconscious Jounins.

After putting Naruto (who is still holding onto Payday's picture)to bed and dragged Kankuro to his own room, Temari and Gaara set off to put all the injuried while unconscious Jounins to the hospital. Unbeknown to them, a green Jounin in the back yard of the Sand House is starting to gain consciousness.

"Ugh, my head. Why did my head hart so much? Where is everybody? What in the NAME OFGAI-SENSEI CAUSE THIS HOLES?"

Squeak...

Lee frozed on the spot. He heard that some where before, and it's not a pleasant experience. Slowly turning back, Lee spot a squirrel. The squirrel is bouncing to Lee at a 'normal' pace. When close enough, Lee see something that had hunted him for ever. The cute-little-fluffy... wait, sorry... the red-eyes-fangs-maniac-psycho-killing-homocidal aura-foam coming out of its mouth-squirrel (plz refere to Payday's story Hide and Seek) is now apporching Lee like a predator apporching its prey.

"N-nice squirrelly... g-good squirrelly..."

Squeak...RRRAAAAAWWWWRRRRR!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HINATA! WHERE ARE YOU!"

This night, every citizens is either in their beds or working late. The peaceful silence of the night is only broken by the screaming of a certain Jounin who is chased by a... squirrel that is cute-little-fluffy... wait, sorry again... red-eyes-fangs-maniac-psycho-killing-aura-foam-from-its-mouth. Use your imagination for the rest. Buh-bye for now.

* * *

Author's Note: 

APH: Well, there's another chapters of Sand Baby. You happy now, Temari?

Temari: Damn right I'm happy now. As long as Naruto-Kun is happy.

Naruto: Thanks a lot Temari-onee-chan.

Temari: No problem. See ya later boys. (poof)

APH: You know, you are a very cruel bastard. (putting ice bag on left-black-eye)

Naruto: (grin) Thanks for the compliment.

PD: LOOK WHAT I GOT! (pull out a Gaara Key chain)

APH: That... is a very nice key chain...

Naruto: AAAHH! WHY NOT ME?

PD: _smoochsmoochsmooch _CUZ I'M IN LOVE WITH GAARA! _smoochsmoochsmooch_

APH and Naruto: (sweat dropped) Okayyyyy...

APH: ANYWAY, GO READ PAYDAY'S STORY HIDE AND SEEK. IT'S LOADED WITH TONS OF FUN... AT LEAST I THINK SO. Now... I'm going to sleep. (faint) **_thud_**

Naruto: Oh well... todaloos (drag APH away, Payday follow close behind.)

Vote result:  
story length- longer  
romance?-none


	7. Author's Apology

APH: SORRY PEOPLE! I OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE THAT SAND BABY IS ON HOLD!

PD: Yup, u finially done it .

Naruto: Yup, u done it (nod nod)

APH: SHUT UP GAKI! IT'S HARD TO THINK UP STUFF WHEN I HAVE SCHOOL!

Naruto: Why are u yelling?

APH:...

Temari: Still, the story is now officially on hold. For those that are expecting some updates, aznpuffyhair give his up-most apology.

Gaara: (appear out of nowhere)...

Everyone: HOLY CRAP! DON'T DO THAT!

APH: Still, again, i apologize for those that was waiting for so long . u can voodoo doll me for all i care... as long as u don't give me a broken right arm or throw me into the fire or hang me or... (SMACK... THUD)

Temari: Damn, he's annoying...

PD: Damn, now i'll have to drag him .

Gaara:... can i kill him?

Everyone except APH: HECK NO!

Gaara: (snap his finger) damn!

Shukakuu: Told u so.

* * *

APH: Again, i apologize for all the waiting (rubbing the bumb cause by Temari) I am very sorry. I can't promise that this mother of all writing block well ever subside (which well... evantually), but i can try to give more choas and mayhan into the story... and due to a request a while ago, Anko will show up on the next chapter... doing... unspeakable thing.

Anko: (run in stage with a mallet in hand) I'LL SHOW U UNSPEAKABLE THING!

APH: HOLY CRAP! GOT TO GO. LET ALL U GUYS KNOW THAT I LOVE U! (run away)

Kakashi: (Walk in with Icha Icha Paradise- the Revange) Ehehehee... oh, opps. See u guys soon... i hope. (Preform seals, and everything went black.)


	8. The Hunt

APH: OKAY! BACK TO BUSINESS! IT'S BEING TOO LONG SINCE I DID A CHAPTER FOR SAND BABY! SOMEONE WILL KILL ME FOR THAT!

Gaara: I'll gladly do it…

APH: You… stay away from me… anyway, you know the seals… I hope… STORY TELLIGN NO JUTSU!

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…

"Okay squirt! We're now lying down some rules!" Anko says as she glare at a seven years old Naruto, who just tilt his head to the side. Meanwhile, a certain red fox is sleeping on a mummified Kankuro, whose story you'll get to know soon. "First, no ninjutsu or genjutsu!"

"Eh… but Anko-nee-chan! That's boring!" Naruto protests, waking Kyuubi up in an instance.

"You do remember what happened in the first day of my ni-… err, babysitting you?" Anko asks with a slight twitch in her left eye brow.

"Eh… that's…"

Flashback:

"_Okay Naruto-kun, don't cause any trouble for Anko-san now!" Temari says as she stare at Naruto with a worried expression._

"_Sure thing Temari-nee-chan!"_

"_And you!" Temari says, pointing a finger to a ever so innocent Anko, "No sadistic stuff IN FRONT of Naruto. Got it?"_

"_Hai ojou-sama!" Anko says with a bit of sarcasm._

"_And you! No candy!" Temari says point to a grinning fox._

"_Now why would I want any?" Kyuubi asks as a halo of light appear on his head._

"_Don't give me that crap! Now then, no sweet for Naruto either. If he wants ramen, he gets maximum of three bows. Put him in bed before nine o'clock. Got it?"_

"_Hai, I got it." Anko says after finishing writing down whatever Temari just said._

"_Can we go now?" Gaara asks, standing with an impatient air around him._

"_Yeah yeah, be done in a sec! One more thing. If any other teams decides to take Naruto out to play, make sure that you stay AT his side at ALL times!" Temari says with an unholy light inside her eyes._

"_Yes ma'am…" Anko says, backing up a step._

"_Okay, we're done." With that, Temari turns on her heel and left. Gaara soon follows behind her._

"_Okay… so that's that. Let's get inside." Anko says as she begins to push Naruto and Kyuubi into the door._

"_Hey Anko-san! I'd learned how to henge just last week!" Naruto exclaims happily._

"_Well, that's nice."_

"_You want to see it? Huh? HUH?"_

"_Not right now."_

"_BUT IT'S COOL!"_

"_Alright. Show me what you got." Anko says with a roll of her eyes before taking a step back from Naruto. "Go ahead!"_

"_Okay, behold!" With a poof, Naruto is now covered in smoke. Kankuro choose that moment to walk into the living room. "Eh, they left?"_

"_Yeah… anyway, Naruto, why is there so… much… smoke…" Anko says, but stops when the smoke cleared to reveal… a woman of about 25 with extremely nice body figure… Only one problem… SHE'S NAKED! "WHAT THE!"_

"_THE SEXY NO JUTSU!" Naruto exclaims before, "GGYYAAAAAHHH!" Looking over, he sees Kankuro got propelled back by a torrent of nose bleed, crash into the kitchen. From within the kitchen, the sound of dropping pots and other items can be heard._

"_Do I want to know?" Anko asks with a twitch to her left eye. Walking over ever so slowly, she peered into the kitchen to find, "You might want to get that check at…"_

"_Haha… if you mind pulling that knife out of my arm and that fork out of my leg and get this box off my head, then yeah, I'll get them check at… I CAN'T MOVE YOU BAKA!" Kankuro exclaims from his spot. True to his words, a knife is sticking out of his left arm and a fork is in his right leg. He can't move because a box full of sharp objects are now balanced on his head. If he loses his balance… well, let's just say he won't have a pleasant day._

"_You know what… I'll get the Hokage…" With that, Anko disappeared, leaving behind a confused Naruto, whose back to his original form, and a grinning like mad Kyuubi._

"_Oh hell no…"_

End Flashback.

"Okay… no ninjutsu or genjutsu…" Naruto says before taking a glance at the comatose Kankuro.

"Seriously… I never know where you get that jutsu… Still, rule number two, no more ramen or puppy eye no jutsu."

"But!"

"I'M BROKE DAMN IT! THOSE EYES OF YOUR ARE SO DAMN CUTE I CAN'T HELP IT! SO NO PUPPY EYES!" Anko shouts shutting Naruto's mouth with a snap. "Good. Rule number three… hmm, what else is there… oh yes, no reading Kakashi's book."

"I never read them…" Naruto says with a frown on his face.

"But don't touch them either. I don't want to have another of those chase again."

"Oh… that…"

_Another Flashback…_

"_Ne, Kakashi-hentai!" Naruto shouts, earning a bonk on the head. "Don't call me that! What do you want?"_

"_I'm bored." Naruto whines as Kyuubi crawl up in a ball around the sofa._

"_Well, I can't help you. I'm here to baby sit you, not entertain you." Kakashi says before flipping another page from Icha Icha Holiday: Special Edition._

"_You suck..." Naruto says with a pout. "Hey, I got an idea!"_

"_And what's that?" Kakashi asks, never taking his eye off the book._

"_Hey Kyu!" Walking over to the fox, Naruto whisper something to him. Judging by the speed his head shot up and the madman grin afterwards, Kakashi has a sinking feeling._

"_Okay, here's what we're going to do!" Naruto says before climbing onto Kakashi's lab. "We're going to… yonk!" And just with that, Naruto had taken the famous (or infamous) Copy Ninja off guard, and took off with his book._

"_Y…You… that's the good part too… YOU GET BACK HERE!" And thus, another day of mayhem is insured._

_That night…_

"_Sorry Kakashi, I know it's short noticed but… what happened to you? You look like hell!" Anko exclaims after coming back to the Sand House from a sudden mission._

"_Don't… asks…" Kakashi says from his face down position on the ground with dirt in his hair, grass stain on his cloth, and a burned whole on his pants… or what used to be his pants._

"_Eh… sure…"_

End Flashback.

"Eh… sure…"

"Good. Now we're all set!" Anko says with a grin. "Now then, let's see what we can do."

"Torture Ibiki-san?" Naruto suggested.

"No. Been there, done that. And he's not much fun anyway."

"Eat ice cream?" Kyuubi says with hope in his voice.

"No, not tricking me!"

"Visit Hinata-nee-chan?" Naruto says with his puppy eyes.

"Nope… don't want to get near Hiashi…" Anko says her will to survive stronger than Naruto's cuteness.

"Then what can we do?" Kyuubi asks before signing.

"We could always look for Ebisu… THAT'S IT!" Without another thought, Anko grab both Naruto and Kyuubi and disappeared into the street, looking for a unsuspected special Jonnin.

"Ebisu-sensei, why are we still doing D-rank when we're chunnin?" Konohamaru asks as he continues to paint the fence wall.

"Yeah!" Moegi and Udon chorus together.

"No complaining! Although you guys may be chunnins, you guys still need to do community service once in a while!" Ebisu says, adjusting his sun glasses with a push of his finger.

"Yeah, like that's the case. You're just too afraid for them to attend anything higher than C-rank." A voice says from behind him, causing Ebisu to curse his luck before turning around, and curse his luck some more. "Anko-san, Naruto-kun, Kyuubi, how may I be of your service?" Ebisu says with a forced smile while cold sweat drop starts to form on his forehead.

"Let's see, you can help by starts running." Kyuubi says, taking out mallet-sama from nowhere.

"Do as he says!" Naruto says taking out practice kunais with explosive notes attached to it.

"Yea, it'll do you good." Anko says with a sadistic grin.

"Err… hold on. Team… where they go?" Ebisu asks, as he scan the street and see… no trace of his team what so ever. "Those blasted no good… okay… give me a five second head start… when do I begin?" Ebisu says as he prepare to enter 'panic mode.'

"Hmm… now…" Anko says with a sweet smile, too sweet in fact. In a flash, the special Jonnin is gone, running for his life with all he got.

"Okay… that's 1… 2… 3… 4… edo… 6?" Naruto says counting his finger.

"Grr… close enough. FIVE!" With that, the trio is off chasing after Ebisu.

Somewhere off in the forest of Konoha.

"Hopefully they won't find me here…" Ebisu says as he pant from his dash into the forest. "Those three will be the death of me." He says, not knowing whether to curse his team for abandoning him or the three that's hun… err… chasing him.

"Huh? Why are you here?" A lazy voice asks from below the tree. Looking down, Ebisu come face to face with Shikamaru, the laziest Ninja in the world.

"Running."

"Ah, soka, then starts doing that." Shikamaru says pointing to Anko, who's standing right next to Ebisu.

"Eh… bye?" Ebisu says with a weak grin.

"Yeah, bye!" With a kick, Anko sent the special Jonnin into low earth orbit. "Hmm… that'll take a while for him to drop."

"Che, troublesome."

"What's up son?" Shikamaru's father asks, putting an arm around his son.

"Nothing, just some crazy Jonnin chasing another Jonnin…"

"OH! THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JOIN! YOU SHOULD LET YOUR FLAME YORU YOUTH BURN!" Shikamaru's father exclaims with flame in his eyes and doing one of Gai's dramatic pose.

"Err… dad… you're scaring me…"

Two hours later…

"Hanabi, faster!" Hiashi says as he watches his younger daughter pant from their practice.

"Hai, otou-sama!" With that, Hanabi once again charge forward, only to stop when her Byakugan spot a figure flying toward them. "Hmm… that's…"

"Ebisu?" Hiashi finishes for her, seeing the Jonnin landing face first and skip a few feet. He bounce right back up, looking to his left, then his right. Signing, he turns around, only to pale as the sight that greet him.

"H-Hiashi-sama… when did they get here?" Ebisu asks point to a particular blonde boy and a red fox.

"Hmm, they'd been here for a while now…" Hanabi says blinking in confusion.

"I see… nice to see you…" With that, Ebisu was sent flying via an explosion note courtesy of Naruto. "KYAAAAHHH!"

"Hanabi, take notes, for you will learn the way to hunt down your enemy!" Hiashi says in an out of character way, doing an nice guy's pose with his teeth going bin, causing his daughter to sweat drop and takes a step back. 'T-That Gai is rubbing off on him…'

Another two hours later…

"Further more, we need to strengthen the defense around the border. The Sound is acting up again." Another Jonnin says to the Hokage as Tsunade, who in her glory, is sleeping on her desk… "HOKAGE-SAMA! ARE YOU EVEN LITSENING!"

"What? You say something?"

"SO COOL!" The Jonnin says with tears streaming down his face like Gai.

"Seriously, you guys are starting to scare me…" Tsunade says with Payday standing next to her nodding in agreement. "And you get out!"

"KYYYAAAAAHHHH! **CRASHBOOMSNAPBAMSCREECHTHUND** E-Ebisu… reporting for duty…"

"Eh? I don't remember asking for you…" Tsunade says before looking from Ebisu to her now broken window and floor. "You're paying for these!"

"HELLO BAA-CHAN!" A voice suddenly exclaims from the door before it gets slammed open. Naruto walks in with all his glory before he is sent into the wall via Tsunade's punch. "DON'T CALL ME A BAA-CHAN!"

"But you are one…" Naruto says rubbing his aching head. "Still, where's Ebisu-san?"

"Huh? He's right… hey, where he go?" Tsunade asks as in her office, Ebisu is already gone, leaving nothing behind… while, leaving everything behind sane himself. "Anyway, play time is over, it's almost dinner time. Go grab something to eat!"

"Hai baa-chan!" Naruto says before he gets the fastest transportation means, a one way ticket out of the Hokage office from a certain blonde woman with extremely scary figure.

Later that day… err, night…

"I'm beat…" Ebisu says as he collapse next to Kakashi inside a bar.

"Eh? What happened to you? You looked like hell." Asuma asks, taking a puff from his cigarette.

"The trio of doom…"

"Oh, you mean, Naruto, Kyuubi, and…" Kurenai starts, but was cut off by a voice.

"AND ME! THAT'S RIGHT!" Anko shouts as she burst into the bar with her trademark grin.

"Have merci!" Ebisu says, suddenly appearing in front of Anko, down on his knees, begging.

"Wow… you sure know how to break him…" Ibiki says before taking another sip from his sake.

"Well, they're good." Kakashi adds flipping another page of his book. "Wait; aren't you suppose to be with Naruto?"

"Well, Temari and Gaara finished early. So they're home right now. But I do have a special guest…" Anko says with a light in her eyes that causes everyone in the bar to fall silence.

"Oh shit…" The whole bar muttered before Anko takes out mallet-sama.

"Borrowed from Kyuubi. Now then, let's have some fun!" And so, the night of Konoha is once again filled with painful screams and begging for mercy. "THIS IS EVEN FUNNER THAN TRYING TO KILL A CERTAIN GAY!"

In Sound…

"ACHOO!" Orochimaru sneezed, causing him to pour too much sugar into a pan full of cream. "Darn, now the cake will be too sweet!"

"Orochimaru-sama! If you want, I can start a new batch!" Kabuto says from his spot next to his master.

"No need. Beside, Sasuke-kun must love sweet, nyahehehehehehe!" Orochimaru says with an out of character laugh. "Now then, LET'S PUT IT INTO THE OVEN OF YOUTH AND BAKE THE CAKE!"

'Seriously… is the whole world infected with Gai-virus or something?' Kabuto asks himself, but he did get an answer thought.

'NO! IT'S BECAUSE THE POWER OF YOUTH KNOWS NO LIMIT! –MIT! –MIT! –mit! –mit!...'

"Okay… no more coffee for me…" Kabuto says before dropping the Starbust coffee in his hand into a trash can. "I need an vacation…"

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere…

"GAI-SENSEI YOU DID IT!" Lee exclaims pumping his fist into the air.

"YOSH! MY GAI RAY IS A YES! NOW THE WHOLE WORLD CAN EXPERIENCE THE FLAME OF YOUTH!" Gai exclaims, doing a 'good guy' pose.

"GAI-SENSEI" Lee shouts, starts to run in slow motion towards Gai.

"LEE!" Gai shouts, starts doing the same with Lee. Their background suddenly change to the typical Japanese sun set with tidal wave and high cliff.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!" And the two green clad taijutsu specialist clash together in a hug, tears streaming down their face as they cry into each other.

"AH GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! I CAN'T SLEEP!" Zabuza, who appeared out of nowhere, knocking the two beasts of Konoha into unconsciousness. "Better. Geez, these two idiots gets more extreme by the year…"

APH: Well… that's probably the worst chapter I'd produced… but I'm sort of still working on my writer's block… and also my other story… but don't fear! FOR THE POWER OF YOUTH SHALL TRIUMPH… DAMN YOU GAI!

Gai: What?

APH: REVERSE THE DAMN RAY! OR I SHALL USE THE POWER OF USE TO PUNISH YOU!"

Temari: Oh for the love of… that's it, I QUIT!

APH: … that's a problem… still, thanks for those that had faith in me… but if my chapter really sucks… gomenasai… REVIEW!


	9. Peaceful morning i think

APH: …I have a feeling that I'll die very, very soon…

Temari: No surprise there.

APH: (Glare at Temari) And it's your fault…

Temari: (Bat eye lashes innocently) And how, pray tell, is it my fault?

APH: (Eye brow twitched.) You want to know why…?

Gaara: Oh no… no again…

APH: IT'S BECAUSE I'M SPENDING ALL MY TIME TRYING TO GET YOU BACK IN THE TEAM!

Temari: What team?

Chibi-Naruto: NANI! TEMARI-NEE-CHAN IS SO MEAN!

Kyuubi: …Do we have to go through this again?

Hanabi: Not me…

Gaara: …Why…?

Hanabi: …It's my turn… and I don't want to…

APH: Too bad. Anyway… (rub a bump on his head) Sorry for the delay. I'm having a writer block and Temari isn't helping (BONK!) YEOW!

Chibi-Naruto: Anyhow, here's the next chapter… err… what's the jutsu again?

APH: It's story telling no jutsu. Geez. Anyway, for those who forgotten the seals, here it is: ox, horse, snake, then tiger. Well, HAVE FUN! STORY TELLING NO JUTSU!

DISCLAIMER: DON'T. OWN. ANYTHING! But I hope I did…

> > > > > > > > > > 

'Ouch…' Hanabi wince again as she turned around in her futon. 'It's painful… very painful… never mind father almost becoming a copy of that guy… (what's his name? Oh, Gai) but why do I have to baby sit… _him_?' Hanabi question herself as she glance at her digital alarm clock. The small device display 5:30 in the morning, which is half an hour earlier than she would normally woke up. Sighing in defeat, Hanabi sits up and wince again as she felt a bolt of pain in her waist.

It all started with the Sand Siblings getting yet _another_ long term mission. This time thought, most of the ones that they can 'trust' were also out on missions. And without much thought, the five (including Kyuubi) had quickly and without hesitation ruled out Gai or Lee… they'll only cause more trouble.

Kakashi is in the hospital recovering, so he's out.

Kurenai and her team are out there doing some search and destroy… so that's out.

Team Gai… maybe Neji or Tenten… but since they're also out… Team Gai is out.

Asuma's team… they don't even want to know how much trouble they'll gone through just to get them to agree. Although Temari could use her 'charm' on Shikamaru, the lazy jonnin had been very busy lately. So in conclusion, they're out. Since she don't want Chouji any where near their kitchen or Ino any where near Kyuubi… not after what happen last time…

**Flashback**

_"Naruto-kun! We're… HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU!" Temari screamed as a very… cute Kyuubi moan in front of her. Yes, you didn't heard wrong… a very cute… and Kyuubi never goes with cute… fox sits in front of her. There are bows coming out of him as well as some sweet smell, which Temari suspect is due to some perfume… but on heck, the fox doesn't look happy at all. _

_"What the?" Kankuro says as he lay eye on the miserable fox moaning and groaning as he desperately try to undo some bows. "What in the name of Gaara happen to you?" _

_"…Don't do that." Gaara says as he walks into the room and glare at his brother. "…And what really happen to you?" _

_"…Do I have to answer?" The fox groan out as he bit at another pink… yes, pink, bow that was placed on one of his nine tails. _

_"Kyuubi-chan and Ino-nee-chan had some fun today." Naruto, as innocent as he ever is (still at seven years old) says as he beamed at his surrogate siblings. "Ino-nee-chan puts all sorts of pretty things on Kyu-chan!" _

_"Wow… and I never thought I'd live the day to see this…" Kankuro says before he burst into laughter… only to be shut up as a thirty pound mallet-sama slammed into him. "…ouch…" _

_"Anyway… are you all just going to stare… or are you going to help me OUT OF THESE THINGS!" Kyuubi exclaimed as he bite at another yellow bow on his farthest right tail and groan as he finds it difficult to do so without hurting himself. "Damn you human and your thumbs…" _

**End Flashback…**

Well, there you have it. As for Asuma… you know why.

Now there is also the option of letting Anko and or Ibiki do it… but Anko is busy tormenting Iruka, who also can't help. And they don't want Ibiki, the most terrifying man in interrogation, to weep as he mumble about something like 'mallet-sama is the best' or 'no more biting'… As you can guess, it's very disturbing.

As the options continue to thin out, they are starting to get desperate. Ebisu still hasn't recover from the little 'hunt' that Anko and Naruto put him through a month ago. And his team, which adored their once leader very much, have no desire what so ever to become a certain fox's chew toy, (which, as the siblings found out, the fox has developed a habit of chewing certain people's legs.) and even thought he hasn't done that yet… they have no wish to start now.

With the lists continue to shrink, the Siblings are starting to get worried. They certainly can't get the avenger, AKA Uchiha Sasuke to do it. Who knows what the boy with his unstable mind (as Temari puts it) will do to their poor widdle Naru-chan? And Sakura…? Since after being promoted to a full jonnin as well as working full time I in the hospital, she barely finds time to visit the boy at all.

How about Jiraiya? Nope, the pervert is obviously out of the list… and he certainly doesn't want a repeated experience of Kakashi's 'Million Years of Pain'…

How about Tsunade? Err… let's put it this way. Paper works plus a hyperactive blonde, and then puts in a certain fox that somehow likes to eat the paper works, and then multiplies it by a few notches with the constant chaos Naruto and Kyuubi cause in the office… Nope, she'll probably kill him on first sight if that happened again… And the Sand Siblings certainly doesn't want to see themselves became nothing more than a few pretty spots of red in the village somewhere. Of course, if the twitching of the woman's eye brows gave any indication at all…

So that leaves some others… and Shizune is another possibility. But as much as the woman loves to spoil the blonde kid, she's busy right now attending to a few injuries that were accidentally caused by Naruto and Kyuubi. And when she says accidentally, she means random explosion that just happens whenever and wherever the duo is… She suspects it's more of Kyuubi's doing than Naruto's. But heck, no one complains about it. And sure enough, most of the victims later look back at the experience with laughter.

So all in all… she's out.

After checking more people out, the Sand Siblings decides to take a break and takes Naruto and Kyuubi out on a walk… and that's when _it_ happens…

**Flashback**

_"…Who else is there?" Temari asks as she watches Naruto and Kyuubi bounce around with a smile. "I mean… surely there are more people here that we can trust…" _

_"…" Gaara, being the most quiet of the five (no surprise there) keeps his thought to himself… or at least he tried. 'Damn… who else is there?' _

**_'You could always-_**_' _

_'Like hell that'll happen!' Gaara shouts mentally as he interrupted Shikaku's train of thought. _

_'**Oh poo! You're no fun!**' The demon inside the man says with a pout before he burst into giggles. _

_'…Oh shut up!' Gaara says as he grumble under his breath about bloody demon and their unstable mind. _

_"Maybe one of us can stay behind?" Temari suddenly suggested, only to be shut down by Kankuro. _

_"Not happening. We need your long range attacks in this one… and we also need Gaara's ultimate defense and devastating attacks if things come to worst…" Just then, the puppeteer paused before a shiver went up his spine. "…Besides… I have no plans of staying behind alone with those two… eesh… the horror." _

_"THEN WHAT CAN WE DO!" Temari exclaims before something caught her attention. _

_"EEEK!" Or more like, a certain girl with long black hair, pale eyes, and a white kimono with a certain blonde boy sitting oh her stomach… Temari suspects he'd tackled her. _

_"HEYA HANABI-NEE-CHAN!" Naruto shouts happily as the girl continues to stare at him wide eyed. Yup, he definitely tackled her. _

_"N-Naruto… GET OFF ME!" The girl suddenly exclaims as in a single moment, she shot up onto her feet. Of course, she also grabs Naruto and lift him up to eye level via the collar of his shirt. "DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS GAKI? YOU COULD HAVE HURT YOURSELF! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HINATA AND NEJI WOULD DO TO ME IF YOU LET YOURSELF GET HURT!" The Hyuuga girl shouts with anger and annoyance in her eyes before she starts to blush. "And not to mention… that's very embarrassing…" _

_Hyuuga Hanabi, currently a jonnin and is about 14 or 15. Although being young, she sure become almost as well endowed as her sister was during that age… however, she isn't as short as her sister is. In fact, if you were to compare her with the Naruto before getting turned into a chibi, she'll be as tall, if not a few centimeter taller with him. Being a jonnin at 15 is very impressive… although her cousin reached it in about 14, it's still is impressive. _

_Her skill is only second to her cousin and although she'll never admit it, she'd develop a fear towards her sister. Ever since Hinata had taken an interest in medical Jutsu, she'd heard rumors saying that she can heal any wound almost instantly. Her skill would be on par with Tsunade and Sakura's in a few more months in fact… But what really disturbs her is how her sister had somehow developed a cruel treatment to patient how, in one way or another; disrespect her friends and or herself. She wince as she remembers the blood chilling scream one night and the next day, her sister came storming in the compound as she mutters dark curses under her breath. Oh hell, even her father stayed away for a day or two. _

_"…I'm sorry." Naruto says as he has a down cast looks, which makes Hanabi's expression soften as her heart seems to melt. _

_"…Oh well. I'll let you off the hook this time." The girl says before putting a surprised then beaming Naruto down. "But if that would to happen next time, I'll toss you into a lake!" _

_"YES MA'AM!" Naruto exclaim fearfully before he starts to grin again. _

_"Good. Now if you'll excuse me-AAAAAH! **THUND!** ITAI!" After falling flat on her face, she turns around to find Kyuubi had cuddle up with her right leg and is snoozing away while his tails surround her left… In another word, she's completely and utterly trapped. "…Damn fox…" _

_"…You know. I think we'd just found our solution." Gaara suddenly says as he looks down at the younger girl, who gulped before she turns to watch the red-hair man, who had a crazed grin on his face… _

**End Flashback.**

And that is how Hanabi finds herself in this predicament. Actually, it hadn't being all that bad in the beginning… well, at least not until Naruto and Kyuubi somehow persuaded her to stay… and Hanabi was so sure that those blue eyes shouldn't be that shiny and… big and… teary! 'DAMN IT! FALL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK! But you got to admit… they're cute quite… OH HELL! I'M LOSING IT!'

Sighing again, she stands up from the futon and stretch. Hearing several pops from her joints, Hanabi moan in pain as she try to recall why her back ache. Changing into a set of Kimono in record time, the girl slowly and quietly walked out of the guest room and pause right in front of Naruto's room. Despite her training, she let a small smile appears on her stoic face. After all, he's probably the only few who had the chance to see her smile… and she certainly was flattered when he says she should smile more 'cause it made her more pretty.

'…Such a kiss-up at such a young age…' Hanabi thought as she continues down towards the kitchen. 'I wonder what he'll be like if he has that manner and is as old as Hinata-ane-san… I certainly wouldn't mind going on a… DAMN IT! NO CRAZY THOUGHTS!' "…Mou… Naruto, you're making me soft."

Deciding to put that thought away for now, Hanabi reached into a cabin in the kitchen and retrieved a box of green tea. Seeing that it's too early to make breakfast, she decides to have some warm tea, especially during this time of day, which is still some what chilly.

Blowing on her recently finished tea, Hanabi wrap her small hands around the mug and stare at the liquid. 'These past few days had been… very interesting indeed… and for some reason, Konohamaru had been visiting a lot lately… I wonder what's up with him?' Taking a small sip, Hanabi sighed as the warm liquid traveled down her throat. 'Yup, nothing like a cup of tea in the morning.'

"Mind if I join you?" A voice asks from the door way leading into the kitchen. Looking up, the Hyuuga girl finds a tired Shikamaru leaning against the frame with heavy bags under his eyes.

"…No at all." Hanabi says as she watches Shikamaru drag himself over to the table and dump himself into one of the chairs surrounding it. "…Let me guess. Hokage-sama had you do her paper work again?"

"…Is it that obvious?" Gaining a nod, Shikamaru sighed as he muttered his one and most favorite phrase: "Troublesome…"

"Be glad at least Temari-san isn't around her to fuss over you." Hanabi says and smirk as Shikamaru groan and bury his face into his hands.

"Please… don't remind me…" The man says with a moan before his shadow extends and grabs a cup from a cabin near by. Grabbing the kettle, he pours some tea into his cup and takes a sip. "…Hope I have coffee… but this will do. Beside, my mom would kill me if she found out I been drinking that 'unhealthy' substance… troublesome."

"…So when do you two plan on getting married?"

"**PHUUSSSSSHH!** N-N-NANI!" Shikamaru exclaims after he spewed out his mouthful of tea before he claps a hand over his mouth. Hearing no other sound than his own heart beats, he lower his hands and hissed out. "How, and where did you ever get the idea that we're going to marry?"

"Oh please, even I, Hyuuga Hanabi, can tell that you both love each other so much… And it's very aggravating to watch the two of you flirt around." The girl says before she takes another sip from her cup.

"…Che, women are so troublesome."

"Hehe, we're not that bad."

"Sure, and Kyuubi isn't a talking fox that can smack anyone around with a mallet."

"…Now that, is just harsh." Hanabi says with a glare. However, both of them knew that it's only playfully. "By the way, how's your dad?"

"Huh…?" Shikamaru asks as he let one heavy eye lid opens a bit to regard the girl. "What about my old man?"

"…You know… is your father suffering any… mental damage?" Hanabi asks as she looks at Shikamaru suspiciously. After seeing the effect of the Gai-ray first hand, she hopes that it won't leave any… permanent effects of the very unfortunate victims.

"No. And thank Kami that he doesn't." Shikamaru says before he buries his head into his arms. "…But if he does, I'll shave out their eye brows."

> > > > > > > > > > 

Somewhere in Konoha, two men suddenly bolt up from their sleeps and shiver.

'…What was that?' Gai and Lee thought at the same time… and they pray to whoever is still watching up there that they won't have to find out…

> > > > > > > > > > 

Two hours passed without the two in the kitchen noticed as they engaged in small conversation once in a while. Two other occupants of the house is slowly waking up as Hanabi tell Shikamaru to take the couch if he wants to catch some sleep. Standing up, the girl tie an apron on her before she open the fridge to think about what type of breakfast she'll do. Hey, just because she's living in an environment that's surrounded by servants, that doesn't mean she can't learn something off them or her sister once in a while.

'Hmm… what should I cook?' Hanabi wonders to herself before shrugging and grab a few eggs, mushrooms, and cheese out of the fridge. 'Omelet sounded nice…'

Hanabi, humming a little tone to herself, is happily cooking the end… while, that is until something happens.

"AAAAAAAHH! I'LL KILL YOU!" A voice exclaims from the top floor. Judging by the level of it… it must be Naruto.

"YEAH RIGHT! YOU GOT TO CATCH ME FIRST!" Kyuubi… damn, and she was hoping for a peaceful morning.

"GAAAAH! I'M GOING TO MAKE A FUR COAT OUT OF YOU!" **THUDCRASHSMACK! **

"LIKE HELL THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN!" **MEOWHASWISHCRACK! **

"DAMN IT! STAND STILL SO I CAN SKIN YOU!" **CHOPDIVEPAYDAYBONK! **

"WHY SHOULD I DO THAT! AND YOU CAN NOT WIN AGAINST MALLET-SAMA!" **BAMOOSHBAPHISH! **

**"**HEY! THAT'S CHEATING! TASTE MY PUNCH OF YOUTH!" **PUSHISHFISHDUNK!**

'Oh god… mental note: get that youth thing out of his head.' Hanabi thought to herself as she turns off the first, untie the apron and marched slowly towards the source of the chaos.

"YOU SHELL NEVER DEFEAT ME! THE ALMIGHTY KYUUBI!" **BUMPKINCLICKDOSH! **

"HA! LIKE UZUMAKI NARUTO WOULD LOSE TO A STUPID FUR BALL!"** BARKOUCHSMACKWAZA!**

'…Okay… take a deep breath…' Hanabi thought to herself as she stops at the entrance of hell itself. Reaching forward, she grabs the doorknob and count to three. 'One… two… THREE!' With speed almost unimaginable, Hanabi had yanked the door open… only to have something smacked into her face. 'WHA!'

"GAAAAAH! YOU HIT HANABI-NEE-CHAN!" Two voices yelled at the same times before there's silence… then, "HEY! IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Pause. "STOP THAT!" Another pause… "DAMN IT! STOP MIMICKING ME! DIE!" **CRASHCLINMEEEEOOOOWHACK!**

'Ouch… why did I agree to this again?' Hanabi thought as she lifts the offending material off her face. Finding it to be a pair of panties, she tosses it aside before something register. 'Wait, where did they get that?'

"Guys?" The girl says, only to sweat drop as the duo continues to hurl stuff at each other. "Kids…!" Kunai and shurikens could be seem flying in the air. "Boys!" Now, very surprisingly, other animate characters are seemed flying in the air… is that Negi Springfield she'd just see? "HEY! YOU TWO! QUIT IT!" The girl finally snapped as a vein throb on her clearly visible forehead.

Hearing the shots, the duo immediately shot up and stare wide eyed at the huffing and puffing girl.

"You two…" Hanabi hissed as she points at the two now slowly backing away kid and fox, "will clean this up…" Point around at her messed up surrounding, "or no breakfast and lunch for any of you… IS THAT CLEAR?"

"HAI! CRYSTAL MA'AM!" Naruto and Kyuubi exclaim as both snapped to attention and did a salute. Sometimes you got to wonder how Hanabi acquired the power to command the two like that.

"Good." Hanabi says as her face reverts back to the stoic one. Turning on her heel, she slowly marched of the room, that is, until her eyes caught the offending material before… namely, a pair of panties. "One more thing… where did you get that?" Hanabi asks as she held the cloth up.

Staring in confusion, Naruto and Kyuubi looks at each other then at the piece of silk. This process repeated for a while before something clicked in their mind. "Kankuro must had hide it in here…" The duo murmured darkly as they imagine what else their big brother would hide in their room.

"Huh?" The girl asks before she glances at the piece of cloth in disgust. "…I'll need to have a talk with him then…"

**BAM!** "DAMN IT! THAT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED!" A voice from the first floor exclaimed as the owner kicked the door open. "Eh, Shikamaru? Temari, you're boy friend is here!"

"H-H-HE'S NOT… HE'S… I MEAN…" A girl's voice says, the blush clearly in the stuttered out sentence as its owner tries to say something.

"Speak of the devil…" Hanabi says before she puts the undergarment away into her kimono and starts to walk towards the stairs. "…I'd suggest you two hide somewhere safe…"

"And miss the show?" Naruto asks with a raised eye brow.

"No way that'll happen." Kyuubi finished the sentence before he follows the girl and his companion for almost 20 years out of the door.

"Eh? Hanabi-chan, how's it going?" Temari asks as the Hyuuga girl comes into view.

"Good… now if you'll excuse me… I got some question for your brother…" Hanabi says as she held out the panties from inside of her kimono.

Seeing the piece of cloth, Kankuro suddenly blanched before he bolted out of the door, leaving nothing behind but a trail of dust and a coughing Gaara.

"…GET BACK HERE!" Hanabi shouts as she also charge after the jonnin with mallet-sama, which she unconsciously grabbed as she search for the nearest heavy object she can use to cause pain… lots of pain.

"HEY! WAIT FOR US!" Naruto and Kyuubi exclaims as the former leaps onto the latter's back and the latter charge down the street, creating another trail of dust in their wake.

"-Cough- d-damn it… -hack cough- …I-I'll never… -cough- get used to that… -cough!-" Gaara says as he continues to hack his lungs out from the three dust trails left behind by three individual parties that is now causing chaos somewhere around in the village.

"Well, be thankful that they didn't trample you." Temari says with a smirk which quickly dropped as Gaara glared at her. "I'M JOKING! SHEESH!"

> > > > > > > > > > 

APH: Sorry for taking so long. This chapter probably sucks a lot…

Hanabi: No surprising…

Gaara: Agree…

Chibi-Naruto: Obviously… and I knew you couldn't make Hanabi-nee-chan suffer!

APH: …YOU'RE RIGHT! I GOT A SOFT SPOT FOR HER! DAMN IT!

Temari: …And you don't have a soft spot for beautiful me?

APH: Like who likes a crazed woman?

Shikamaru: I think you have a death wish.

APH: …Maybe I do… (Dodge as a kunai sail passed his head) Anyway, sorry for the long delay. It's not easy to make some decision. Especially if I want to try and make the Akatsuki appears in here. I'm also wondering if I should put Sai in here… but it's up to you readers. So here's another voting stand:

**DO YOU WANT SAI TO BE IN HERE? **

**YES OR NO? **

Since we don't know a lot about him other than he's from Root, has absolutely no emotion, and uses ink-based jutsu, he's pretty open for development… at the moment anyway. And I wonder if I should put Itachi and Kisame in there…?

Itachi: NO! DON'T DO IT!

Kisame: WE'LL EVEN STOP GOING AFTER THE BRAT!

Itachi and Kisame: WHATEVER YOU DO! DON'T DO IT!

Tsunade: …Damn, and I thought they're tough…

APH: Oh, by the way. Although I know I don't deserve it, being a bad author and all… BUT PLZ REVIEW! YOU CAN HATE ME! YOU CAN HURT ME! BUT DON'T ABANDON MEEE!


	10. Snap goes the Weasel

APH: I… do not deserve anything for this story (sweat drop) I think I deserved to get killed, or at least mutilated very badly by my reader.

Gaara: …That can be arranged… (grin madly)

APH: Err… let's… not do that for now or any where in the immediate future…

Temari: Why? You certainly deserved it.

APH: YOU… YOU…!

Temari: I what?

Kyuubi: Hmm… more fight? Let's hope there's more blood this time.

Chibi-Naruto: That won't do. We just redid the studio a while ago.

PD: This has nothing to do with me… I'm going home. (Walks away)

APH: Exactly! Now if you don't mind, I'll start my torturing session.

Itachi and Kisame: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

APH: NYAHAHAHAHAHA! STORY TELLING NO JUTSU! Oh, and they'll be some OOC in this chapter.

Disclaimer: DON'T. OWN. A. THING!

A little side notes: My divider isn't working for some reason... so bear with me plz...

Things are fine, things are calm, and things are as boring as hell. It's being about seven years since Naruto turned into a chibi via Orochimaru and things have being quite calm… or at least for the Akatsuki.

However, a certain man doesn't think so. His name is Kisame, or we can simply call him 'sharky', or 'shark-man', or anything that you can think of for him.

Anyway, like I was saying, Kisame finds this whole ordeal boring. They can just go ahead and snatch two of the tailed-beasts, but no! Their leader wants to wait. For what you asks? Well, HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

"…"

And of course, his partner, Uchiha Itachi, isn't exactly helping him.

"…"

Why is that?

"…"

Because the weasel is just sitting there staring at NOTHING!

"…"

Well, not exactly nothing if you consider that squeal that is running around the clearing in front of them. Aww, how cute!

"…"

Okay, or not if you consider the red eyes, sharp fangs, and of course, let's not forget the extremely sharp nails that seems to be able to rip anyone a new hole.

"…Cute…"

…Or it can simply just be cute… Wait, what?

"Itachi-san, are you feeling alright?" Kisame asks as he blinks at his WAY shorter partner, who continues to study the squeal with those red eyes of his.

"…Why wouldn't I?" Itachi answered after a pause with the slightest shift of his eyes.

"Hmm… how should I put this?" Kisame starts as he rubs his chin for dramatic effects, "You think a squeal is cute."

"…And…?"

"Uchiha Itachi isn't supposed to know the word 'cute'… is he?" Kisame finished with a shark-like grin, only to drop it as Itachi did his 'The Uchiha Ultra Super Death Glare'. "I'm joking…"

"…" Deciding to ignore his partner for now, Itachi stands up from his sitting position and approach the squeal.

Once he is about a feet away from the little creature, it stops and lift its head up to stare at Itachi, as if judging whether he'll be a nice dinner or not. The two of the stare at each others for a few minutes, unknowingly started a staring contest that Kisame had, also unknowingly, being referring for. They continues to do this, not being disturbed by anyone.

Not by a person carrying three scrolls and a panicking expression that rushed by, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

Not by a certain Hyuuga girl that is radiating huge amount of killing intent carrying a huge mallet… Also charging by with a trail of dust behind them.

And certainly not by a kid that's crouching in front of him. A kid with blonde wild hair, big, blue eyes, and… whisker marks?

"Eh?" Kisame blinks a few times before rubbing his eyes. Making sure that it's not an illusion, Kisame grin a very predatorily grin before chuckling to himself. "Well, well… what do we have here?"

"Ne, oji-san." Naruto starts, causing a vain to appear unto of Kisame's head, "what's that oba-san doing?"

"Oba-san? What oba-san?" Kisame asks, confused as he scan the area for this oba-san Naruto's talking about. After a few seconds, he starts to have a sinking feeling in his guts. "You don't mean…"

"That oba-san over there that's staring at a squeal." Kyuubi, who suddenly appears beside Naruto in a poof of smokes, says as he points one of his tails at, yes, the one and only, Itachi!

**BOM-BOM-BOM!**

"…Oh dear…" Kisame says with wide eyes before he looks at his partner. Seeing no sign of movement or any signs that shows he heard, Kisame couch down to whisper distance and says, "Hey, don't call him that in front of his face. Unless you want to die a cruel and slow death… and I'm sure I don't want to be turned into shark fin soup."

"Why not?" Kyuubi and Naruto ask as they both stare at the missing-nin with those big, innocent eyes or theirs.

'God… how I hate kids.' Kisame grumble to himself in his mind before he leans forward a bit more. "You don't want to call HIM that because he's not old and he certainly isn't a girl."

"Then is he married?" The question pops out of nowhere as the shark-man blinks a few times before a very evil grin appears.

"Hmm… no, he isn't married. In fact, he isn't even dating anyone. Can't get a girl friend with being as insensitive as he is right now."

"And…?"

"Of course, let's not forget that he's a missing-nin, a bit a very small one." Kisame went on, oblivious to the two chibis staring behind him while waving their hands, or pawns in Kyuubi's place, around madly.

"And…?"

"And then there's the fact that his bed-"

"Kisame…" A voice growled from behind him. Just then, he noticed the two chibis in front of him shaking in fear.

"Oh my…" Kisame gulped before he turns around to finds a very, VERY angry Itachi. Let's not forget that he's also using 'the Uchiha Ultra Super Death Glare' at full power. "…Hi, how's it going?"

"…"

"Um, you see, it's all a joke. I mean, come on, it's not like I'm there when you screw that-"

"YOU WHAT!"

"…Eep!" Kisame lets out a very un-missing-nin like yelp before he turns around, pick up the two chibis, and run as fast as he came. Just then, he suddenly skips to a stop to look at his unexpected 'cargoes'. "Why am I helping you two?"

"LESS TALKING…!" Naruto shouts as he pears over Kisame's shoulder.

"…MORE RUNNING!" Kyuubi finishes as a large cloud of dusts starts to gain on them.

Looking over his shoulder, Kisame blinks once before he turns back to the chibis in his hands. "Good point."

And…

"BLOODY MURDER!"

They're off…

"And…?"

"No peeping in the women's bath section."

"And…?"

"No stealing lingers if I can help it… **BONK!** Ouch! I m-mean no stealing lingers!"

"AND…!"

"NO PEEPING AT MY SISTER WHEN SHE'S TAKING A SHOWER!" A very beat up Kankuro yelled, and as soon as he said that, he regrets it.

"YOU WHAT!" Hanabi exclaims with eyes practically spelling death in the face of a very pale Kankuro. If the puppet master hasn't already gone snow white, he'll certainly become paler.

"N-nothing…!" Kankuro says weakly as cold sweat drops pour out of him. He is so sure that if this continues, he'll be dehydrated in no time. Forget Gaara's Sabaku Sousou, this Hyuuga chick can do much worst.

"You… YOU HENTAI!" Hanabi exclaims and mallet-sama made another impression to the puppet master's head, pushing him farther into the crater he's already in. Huffing the Hyuuga girl shoulders the huge mallet and glare at the crater in front of her. "Just be lucky that I won't be reporting THAT to Temari-san."

"T-thanks Kami… Oh, and your left shoulder is showing… black?" Kankuro lift an eye brow at that before he regrets it once again.

Blinking, Hanabi looks to her left, and sure enough, her kimono was slightly undone, showing enough of her pale skin to make just about any men drool, and of course, certainly enough to reveal some… rather personal stuff. "…EEK! HANTEI!"

**KA-BOOSH!**

"WAAAAAAHHH!"

"Guess I'm reporting that after all…" The Hyuuga says through tightly clench teeth as she picks up mallet-sama and starts to storm back towards Konoka. As for Kankuro, let's just say he won't be waking up anytime soon…

"Hmm… I wonder where Naruto and Kyuubi are…"

"OUT OF WAY!"

"I'm sure they were following so that they won't miss this…"

"HANABI-NEE-CHAN! OUT OF THE WAY!"

"In fact, I'm sure that's them right now…" Just then, she looks in front of her to finds Kisame charging up to her at an incredible speed, carrying two little bundles to red and yellow/orange, which glance behind them every now and then. Blinking, Hanabi suddenly finds herself spinning like a top, the result of not side stepping fast enough of the human torpedo known as Kisame. "Ah!"

"OHOHOHOHO! YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE ME! THE ALMIGHTY UCHIHA ITACHI! NOW SURRENDER AND PREPARE TO DIE! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Another voice, who announces himself as Itachi, yelled before the owner speed passed the poor girl, leaving her spinning faster than before.

"Ayaya… t-that's n-not good…" Hanabi says before she collapses, with spiral for her eyes with her mouth hanging slightly open. "M-must inform… H-Hokage… sama…"

"LEFT!"

"RIGHT!"

"UP!"

"DOWN!"

"IN!"

"OUT!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP AND JUST LET ME RUN!" Kisame snapped as he glances behind him once again to find the ever to psychotic weasel behind him. No doubt wanting a lot more than just cutting off his arms and legs.

As for the two small bundles under his arms… they. ARE. NOT. HELPING!

"BUT HAVE TO GO LEFT!" Kyuubi says as he sniffed the air a little.

"NO! RIGHT! GO RIGHT!" Naruto says as he tuck on Kisame's Akatsuki cloak.

"BUT THERE IS A CAVE AROUND THE LEFT!"

"IT'S BETTER IF WE GO TO TEMARI-NEE-CHAN!"

"BAKA! DO YOU WANT HER TO DIE!"

"NO! I WANT THAT HAG BEHIND US TO!" ("WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HAG!")

"AND HOW IS SHE GOING TO KILL ITACHI!" Kisame shouts in frustration as the chibis look at each others before answering in one. ("YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO DIE!")

"Well, give him a mouth full, before pounding him into the ground, held him up, chew him out once again, pound him again, then finally bury him alive." ("I'LL CHEW HER UP BEFORE SHE CHEWS ME UP!")

"Oh… If we survive this, remind me to stay away from her…" ("YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE!")

"URUSAI!" The trio shouts over their shoulders only to see Itachi gaining more speed.

"This won't do. Any ideas?" Kisame asks as he leaps onto a tree branch to avoid a few kunais and shurikens.

"Hmm… why don't we knock him out with sexy no jutsu?" Naruto asks as he was tossed into the air to avoid a Gokakyu no Jutsu.

"Nope, that won't work." Kisame says before he scrunches his face up, "And what is that anyway?"

"It's a jutsu that's mostly used against perverts… DUCK!" Kyuubi answered before screaming, making Kisame bent low to avoid some more weapons.

"A jutsu against perverts?" Side steps…

"Hai. It works by turning a person into a very sexy woman in NOTHING… it's really a simple henge," Kyuubi says with a sly smile as Naruto has the grace to actually blush.

"…okay. I don't want to see it." Kisame says as he rounds a corner, up the wall, and into the hidden village of Konoha!

Tsunade couldn't believe it. A few minutes ago, she's sitting in her offices, fighting against what is absolutely, completely, evil.

The accursed paper works. And she SWEARS they keeps getting bigger and higher everyday.

As for now, in this very minute, very hour of this very fine day, she finds herself doing… paper work (Author gets dropped kicked by Temari). Err… as I was saying, she was doing her paper work until something completely unexpected happens. So here she is, sitting there, with a vain twitching on her forehead as Jiraiya (who's not helping with the situation at all) lean against her wall.

"Hmm…" The fifth starts as she glances around the room with her golden eyes. "There are some suspicious characters in this very room…" As her sentence was finished, her eyes landed on three individual that's sitting in front of her.

"Oh, who?" Naruto and Kyuubi ask as they tilt their head to the right with an innocent expression on their face. The result is that Tsunade's left eye lid starts to twitch too.

"THAT'S YOU DAMN IT!" Kisame screams at the two chibis as he points a blue finger at said individuals inside the room. The result, Tsunade's lip turned into a scowl.

"YOU TOO!" Jiraiya, who didn't do anything until now, suddenly appears in front of the shark man and point a finger at him. The result, Tsunade picks up her lead paper weight.

"AND YOU TOO!" The fifth screams as she throws the object in her hand with a little TOO much force. **BAM-KRUNCH!** The result, Jiraiya was forcefully 'removed' from the office through a new entrance. "AND YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!"

"S-scary…" The other three mumbles as a shiver went down their spine. A second later, they find themselves under Tsunade's piercing glare. The three gulped at the same times as they all felt a homicide coming. 'Who's idea was it to go here again?' was the thought that went through all of their head.

"Now, let me get this straight…" The 'youthful' Hokage says as she laces her finger in front of her and rest her chins on them. In a very sweet voice and a very fake smile, she continues. "From what I heard… Uchiha Itachi is tearing my village apart looking for you three. Is that correct?"

Three nod.

"Now, because of that, Uchiha Sasuke is going around with a charged Chidori, looking like a crazed man, screaming about killing his brother… right?"

More nod.

"Good. However, while they're causing major catastrophe out there, you three are sitting here hiding… is that right?"

Three gulp, and more nods.

"Okay… so this is what I don't get. Why are you three (point at Kisame, Naruto, and Kyuubi) in here (point at the office) while those two idiot of a brother (point outside) is causing havoc all over the place? Huh?"

"Well, to put it simple…" The ex-mist nin starts as he pull at his Akatsuki collar.

"We were hiding from Itachi because…" Naruto continues as he nervously rub the back of his head.

"We don't want to die…" Kyuubi finished as he tense his leg muscles incase he needs to run. But you'll ask what about Naruto? Well, sacrifice needs to be made…

"And why is he going to kill you? You two (point at the chibis) I understand… as for YOU (Point at sharky), I don't"

"Err… I called him an oba-chan…" Naruto says as he looks up to the ceiling as he recall what happened earlier.

"Hmm… I just happen to tag alone…" Kyuubi says before he cursed under his breath for following them.

"Mm… I think it's because I insulted him by saying he'll never get a girl friend, and his height, and his skill in-"

Tsunade immediately interrupt the shark-looking man. "I don't need to know THAT part…"

"Well, that's about it…" The trio says all at once as they all sport an identical look of complete blankness.

'Oh god… why me? Why?' Tsunade asks herself as she rubs at her eyes. After a few seconds, she made her decision. Grinning at her intelligent, she looks at the trio with a very nasty smile. "Well, I know exactly what to do!"

"Oh? What's that?" The trio asks, completely oblivious about what she has in mind…

"It is very nice to do business with you, Hokaga-sama." Itachi says as his face once again resume that of a stone. The only difference is a special light that appears in his red eyes.

"No problem at all. It's just a simple cease fire for now." Tsunade says with a grin of triumph on her face.

"Yup, an act of cease fire." Kyuubi says with a sage look as he cross his front paws. Don't ask me how, it's fan fiction.

"What's a 'cease fire'?" Naruto asks as he imagine 'cease fire' to be some sort of food. Kyuubi sweat dropped as he knows exactly what his partner-in-crime is thinking of.

"MMM! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Kisame shouted… or as least tried to as he scrummed in his bonded position on the floor. After all, it's hard to move when you're tied down from your head to toes, only with a hole in your face big enough to let you breath. Itachi promptly kicked at the 'bundle' before he turns back to the others.

"While, I better be going. After all, I don't want to stay here too long… That foolish little brother will find me soon…"

"ITACHI! COME OUT! COME TO YOUR LITTLE BROTHER! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" Sasuke screamed at the other side of town as he runs around brandishing a fully-charged Chidori running around and looking left and right. Behind him, just about every member of the Anbu is trying to restrain him.

"TAICHOU! HE'S TOO FAST!"

"No good, we have to use THAT tactic then." The captain, an Anbu in white cape and a mask that looks like a bear says.

"T-Taichou… you wouldn't…!" Another Anbu says as behind his mask his eyes widen.

"IT'S SUICIDE!" Another screamed as his face paled, although no one can see.

"T-truly taichou, it's not necessary…" A newly appointed Anbu says as he starts to sweat bullets.

"We have no choice… besides, it'll be worth it." The captain says before he signals for everyone to leap in front of the 'crazed' Uchiha. Once there, they form a human wall… with a few that stays away cracking their knuckles in a threatening way.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Sasuke screams as he continues to charge at them.

"Hn… it's nice knowing you guys…" The captain says as every other members sniff and cries rivers of tears. "I'll see you guys in the after life… Now, on the count of three."

"One!" Sasuke is getting closer and closer as the Anbu starts to tense for what's to come.

"Two!" The ones that stay behind appear behind the Uchiha and formed another wall.

"…Gentlemen, this is it. Three! HENGE!" The captain shouts as the wall burst into smokes, stopping Sasuke in his track to as his curiosity gets the better of him. When the smoke clears, the Uchiha's jaw hits the floor, as in front of him is a wall of women… not just any women, a wall of very well endowed, NAKED, women.

"Ah… um… gah…" Sasuke blubbered a few times before he was blasted off via his own nose bleed. He landed a few meters away, twitching, as the wall of women turns back into the Anbu.

"Impenetrable wall… The Sexy Wall…" The captain says as the cloud cleared. With a glance around the place, the Anbu asses just how much damage they'd done. Every single non-Anbu male is down as every single non-Anbu female is glaring daggers at them. As for their female teammates… they're taking out their weapons…

"Hmm… I told you we'll see each other in the next life." With that said… the carnage begins.

"So everything is back to normal now." Hanabi says as she takes a sip of her tea.

"Uh-huh." Temari says with a beaming smile on her face. However, you can tell she's trying to restrain from giggling.

"And I don't need to take care of them anymore." Another sip of her tea as she finishes every last drop of it.

"Uh-huh." Kankuro mumbled with an ice pack on his head.

"So I'll be seeing you guys around." Gently puts the mug down and fold her hands into her lap.

"…hn." Gaara groaned with his arms cross in front of him.

"But first…" Hanabi says with a sweet smile, which immediately faltered into a glare. "… I need to get some weight off…"

"IIIIIEEEEEE! WE DON'T WANT HANABI-NEE-CHAN TO GO!" Naruto and Kyuubi screamed as they only latch onto Hanabi tighter, causing the Hyuuga to start a tirade while trying to pry them off.

"So it's really back to normal now?" Temari asks as she watches Hanabi pry Kyuubi off, only to have him latched onto her right arm.

"Hmm… at least for now…" Kankuro says as he shifts the ice pack to a bruise on his cheek.

"…Yes… for now… because they'll be back." Gaara says as he takes out a shade from nowhere and puts in onto his face. His siblings just look at him like he's nuts before they look at each other.

"No more terminator for you." They both say before they gets up and marched into the kitchen to prepare dinner as Hanabi continues to try (and failed) to get rid of Naruto and Kyuubi.

"Hmm… wonder how's Kisame doing…" Gaara suddenly says to no one in particular before he continues to watch the show.

"AAAACHO!" Kisame sneezed before looking at himself and wonder how he even did it.

"Got a cold?" His partner asks as he continues to stir…

"Nope… must be someone talking about me." Kisame says with a shark like grin before asking the same question that he asked for the past few minutes. "Why am I here?"

"You're here because I'm hungry."

"And how does that involves me?"

"Well…" Itachi suddenly stop stirring as he dip his finger into the soup and have a taste. "Hmm… shark fin soup… Uchiha's specialty… MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And thus, the tortured scream of one ex-mist nin travel through the forest for many miles.

Temari: (Sweat drop) You got to be joking me… But it does taste good.

Naruto: (Take a sip) Yum… Never know sharky taste this good.

Kisame: (Bare teeth) I'll chop you in half…

Itachi: (Glance at Kisame confused) Why? I didn't exactly cook you. I just tied you down and watch me drink some shark fin soup. (Turn to APH) You know exactly what I need.

APH: Muhahahaha! Don't mentioned it. Besides, I like it a little too. (Take a sip)

Kisame: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KA-SAN!

Tsunade: (Smack Kisame with a paper fan) QUIET! And for you information, it's not your mother.

Kisame: Then who is it? (Eyes turned big and teary)

Itachi and APH: (Look at each other and grin) It's your little sister.

Kisame: **NOOOOO**OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo… Wait, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SISTER!

Everyone: EXACTLY!

APH: Still, sorry for the late update. I'm sure a lot of you either hate my guts, or just simply wants to kill me. But just to let you know, it's not easy to put together this chapter. I'll probably end the story soon. All I need now is just a few more ideas on how people will react to this. Let's see… I still have Sai…

Sai: …You can go to hell…

APH: …Hmm… Kabuto

Kabuto: Spare me!

APH: Orochimaru and just about everyone else in Akatsuki.

Said people: WE'RE GOING INTO HIDING!

APH: Oh, and of course, Gamabunta.

Gamabunta: **YOU GOT SOME GUTS! DO YOUR WORST!**

APH: If I forget anyone, feel free to tell me or e-mail me. Flames are welcome and suggestions are also welcome… just don't throw weapons at me.

Once again, I APOLOGIZE for the late update… but I'm sure this chapter sucks. I tried my best. But… I'm sure I'll be in the hospital for a while if someone manages to find me. All I need to say is this… You can hate me, you can hurt me… BUT DON'T ABONDAN ME!

Gaara: In other words, leave reviews… or I'll kill you.


	11. Emotion versus emotionless!

APH: I apologize for the late update.

Chibi-Naruto: It's due to his laziness.

Temari: And it's also due to the homework that's piling up on him… literally.

APH: HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAUTL THAT SCHOOL CAME BACK WITH A VENGENSE!! (Tries to wiggle out of the piles of homework) damn… I'm stuck…

Kyuubi: All the better…

Tsunade: Because we can force you to do the chapter now… (Crack her knuckles)

APH: (Go snow white) …Mommy…

Disclaimer: I. DON'T. OWN. NARUTO!!! Wish I did . I'll probably be a millionaire if I did…

XXXXXXXXXX

Sai is livid. Sai is confused. Sai is happy. Sai is angry. Sai is tired. Sai is nodding in understanding.

All in all, Sai is not in any of the above mentioned mood. In fact, the artist finds himself sitting in the Sand's Siblings' house, having an unofficial staring match with a Seven-and-a-half Naruto.

As it is, Sai has his ever-present fake smile on as he continues to look into those clear blue eyes. Eyes that can captivate almost anyone with a puppy-eye jutsu; eyes that can let anyone that desired so to read the owner's emotions; eyes that are basically screaming 'do something you idiot or I'll let Kyuubi have his way with you.'

Once again, Sai caught himself wondering why he is stuck baby sitting a former-shinobi-turned-chibi. Every time his mind wonder down that path, every time, it can only be summed up in one single sentence…

'Damn you Kakashi…' Sai thought as he felt something raging inside of him. With lack of experience and years of stoicism, Sai is generously confused.

"…You're boring." A very bored (Temari: DUH!!) voice says as it snapped Sai out of his musing. "Why does Kakashi-no-hentai make you my baby sitter this time?" Naruto asks with narrowed eyes that were filled to the brim with suspicion. "…You better not be a hentai like him…"

'Now why would I want to read that sorry excuse of a book?' Sai question himself as a certain white-haired someone in the opposite side of the village (or more specifically, a hot spring) sneezed, earning himself a beating of the life time… or was it the usual beating…? ANYWAY, as I was saying, Sai continues to try to puzzle out the reason of his rather dangerous, near S-rank mission: baby sitting.

The artist knows that he was a tool, a trained shinobi of deadly efficiency. He was trained to kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. He was trained to finish mission with any means necessary, even if it involve the killing of a few innocents. He was trained to never question orders and follow them to the letter T. He was trained, as a member of ROOT, to spy on the Hokage and report any finding to his superior: Danzou.

…He was NOT trained to baby sit. He was NOT trained to help find missing items for a child. He was NOT trained to keep an eye on a certain bundle of energy that can escape and cause havoc any time of the day. He was NOT trained to keep petting a fox because said fox refused to leave his lap. He was NOT trained to be a mother hen that is supposes to be good with kids… And he certainly was NOT trained to be fun.

However, unknown to poor Sai, in Naruto's mind, it's a completely different story.

In Naruto's mind, Sai is a playmate. He is someone to talk to. He is someone to tor… I mean play with. He is someone to annoy. He is someone to cry to when he was in emotional distress. He is someone to help keep an eye on Kyuubi, as Naruto knows that the fox has a few pranks in his mind that involves him. He is someone that can help you reach the cookie jar that Temari-nee-chan put on that high shelf. And of course, he is someone that you can keep pestering until they decide to teach you something, preferably a jutsu.

In Naruto's mind, Sai is not supposed to be boring. He is not supposed to be sitting there. He is not supposed to let Kyuubi pretend to sleep as said fox wonders Kami-knows-what in his mind. He is not supposed to have a staring contest with Naruto. He is MOSTLY DEFINITLY NOT HELPING WITH THIS BOREDOM!!

The silence continues to Naruto ban his head onto the table for a few seconds before deciding that he needs to take matters into his own hand. This person needs a motivation. He needs to move, he needs to play, and he needs to play NOW.

With his mind made up, Naruto lifts his head up, eyes shining with determination, and starts walking towards the unsuspected ROOT member. As Naruto stop right next to the Anbu, Sai raise an eye brow as the chibi points a finger at him. "Are you going to just sit there? Why don't you play with me?"

"…I was not trained to play… And I don't know how…"

"NANI?!?! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY!! EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW TO PLAY!!" Naruto exclaims in shock as he did an overreacted face. "I MEAN, WHAT DID YOU DO FOR FUN!?!"

"…Drawing…" A pause… "…Yeah, drawing…"

Left eye brow twitched… "That's it…?" Left eye brow twitched some more… "That is all you do…?"

"…Pretty much…" Sai says with his ever-present fake smile as he peers down at the chibi. Naruto can only sigh in defeat and decides to go to Plan B.

"Whatever, I'm going out then."

"Where do you think you're going?" Sai asks as his fake smile lessens a bit. He knows that he isn't supposed to let the boy out of his sight, or suffers the consequences. And after reading some of the medical reports of those sent to the hospital (most of them are Shikamaru's) by the oldest of the Sand Siblings, he long since make up his mind about pissing her off.

"I'm going out to find Sakura-nee-chan… Or maybe even Kiba-nii. Any where is better than here at the moment." Naruto grumbles as he cross his arms in front of his chest and pout.

"Ah, ugly-dog and flee-bag?" Sai asks as he stands up, unceremoniously dumping Kyuubi onto the floor. "Hmm, why not? I'm kind of bored too, might as well get to know them better."

'Hehehe… phase one… complete…'

XXXXXXXXXX

"Sakura, why are we here again?" Kiba asks over a pile of scrolls that's currently in his arms. "I mean, I understand if you're in here… But why am I here?"

"You're here because I saved your life." Sakura says as she continues to dig into the junkyard known as the Hokage's archive. "Now where did Tsunade-shinshou keep that scroll…?"

"…I can't believe this… If I know what the condition would be, I rather stay with Naruto." Kiba grumbled as more scrolls are tossed to him.

"Oh just shut up. Help me look for it damn it!" Sakura screams as she used every single will in her body to not yank her hair out.

'SHANNARO!!' Inner Sakura screams as she starts to go frenzy on some imaginary enemies.

"…How do you expect me to do that?" Kiba asks as he looks from the side of the mountain in his arms.

"What are you? Stupid? Just drop them over there!" Sakura shouts in frustration as she points to a spot near the desk of the room… or what looks like the desk anyway.

"Err… why didn't I think of that?" The next thing that occurs is Sakura slamming her head into the wall rapidly. "You might want to stop doing that."

'GGGGAAAAAAAHHH!! I SWEAR I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT HIM WITH NARUTO!!!' Sakura screamed in her mind as she increases the pace.

'I'LL KILL HIM!! LET ME AT HIM!!! LET ME AT HIM!!' Inner Sakura screams as she starts to make strangling motion to the air.

"HELLO SAKURA-NEE-CHAN!!! KIBA-NII!!!" A very familiar voice shouts as the two occupants in the room froze in terror. "WHACCHA DOING?!?!"

'Oh dear, and here I was hoping that this day couldn't get any worst.' Sakura thought as she slam a hand into her forehead, and drag said hand down slowly.

Don't get her wrong. The pink-haired girl looks the chibi. It's just that sometimes she can't stand him. And right now, this is one of those times. As of now, Sakura desperately wish for her normal-sized Naruto to show up so she can vent out her frustration. The fun-size that's tugging at her skirt can't be hurt unless you want a personal talk with two of the three Sand Siblings. And being a medic-nin as well as knowing some of injuries by heart (once again, most of them from Shikamaru, despite him being a boy), she certainly knows what's good for her health.

As for Kiba, while he find himself liking the chibi-blonde enough, it isn't enough to make him tolerate him when he's ranting on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about something. And as it is, this is one of those moments. 'Dammit Akamaru… you traitor…'

XXXXX Somewhere in the Inuzaka clan ground XXXXX

A shiver went down Akamaru's spin as he awoke from his little nap. He whimpers as he knows exactly what cause that shiver and hope that whatever Kiba will do to him, it won't be too bad.

Just then, his savior comes into the room in the form of his master's sister, Inuzaka Hana. Quickly jumping onto his feet, Akamaru barks happily at the older woman.

"Eh? Akamaru? I though you're with Kiba." Hana says with confusion clearly in her eyes as her three dogs also tilt their heads.

"ARPH!! ARPH ARPH!!"

"Eh? You want to stay with me for a while?" Hana asks before she scratches her cheek. "I don't know… I was just going to my office too. And I know you don't like the smile of medicine." A few more barks and a whimper answer her. "…Okay, if you says so…"

With that, the older Inuzaka walks away with four dogs following her. For now, Akamaru knows that he's safe… as safe as he is with Hana anyway.

"Oh! That's right! Akamaru, it's time for your shot!" Hana suddenly exclaims… a little too happily.

…Okay, so maybe it's not so safe…

XXXXX Mean while… near the border of Konoha… XXXXX

"Senpai… are we there yet?" A tired voice whine as its owner drags itself after his companion.

"No…" The second person says.

"…Are we there yet?"

"…No…"

"…Senpai, are we there yet?" The first one asks for the third time as a vain twitched on his companion's forehead.

'Okay Deidara… take a deep breath… and count to ten hm…' The man, now known as Deidara, mentally tells himself as he took a deep breath, and starts to count.

'One… two… three…'

"Are we there yet?"

'Four… Five… Six…"

"Are we there yet?"

'SEVEN… EIGHT…!'

"…Are we there yet?"

'**NINE!!!**'

"…Are we there – eek!!" The first man suddenly exclaims as Deidara turn around with a very ugly expression on his face.

"Tobi… not one word yeah. You heard me, hm? NOT. ONE. WORD!!" Deidara all but screamed at the first man, who is now known as Tobi, as he points a shaky finger at the mask-wearing man.

"H-hai… senpai…" Poor Tobi says as he starts to sweat behind his mask. With a nod of satisfaction, Deidara turns around and walks away with a hum under his breath. Tobi can only slowly drag his feet with him as his senpai seems to skip at a faster rate now that he's all quiet and stuff. It also makes the missing Nin wonder why his senpai doesn't like him to talk. I mean, before Deidara's previous senpai died, the explosion specialist seems to enjoy talking… Maybe it's something he did?

…Or is it something he said?

…Ah, that's for another time, because right now, Tobi is tired and his feet ache from all the walking. So of course, disregarding Deidara's warning from before, Tobi decides to try his luck.

"…Senpai… are we there yet?"

"GGGGAAAAAAHHH!!! DEATH BY PUNCTUATION!!!" Deidara screams as he suddenly produces a whole chain of kunais. Tobi, being the stupid yet surprisingly logical guy, did the only thing he can…

…He ran and screams like a little girl… (AN: THIS IS NOT A DISCRIMINATION!!)

"IYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"

**A few miles from their position…**

Two Anbu suddenly raise their head as they heard the screaming… or did they?

"Hey, taichou, you heard something?" The first Anbu asks as he turns to face his captain.

"…Nah, that must be some stupid pervert getting his ass kicked again." The captain says as he sits back down onto the ground (A certain someone in Konoha sneezed again only to regret it as it brought more pain than before). "Besides, after doing that 'Sexy Wall' a while ago, I'm considering a request to make it a Kinjutsu…"

"Err… taichou… it IS a Kinjutsu…" The poor Anbu murmured as a sweat drop role down the back of his head.

"Eh? It is?" The captain answered, which only cause the sweat drop to grow bigger.

'…He is worst than Kakashi-taichou…' The underline thought as he shivered at the memories when Kakashi is still an Anbu captain. 'Oh Kami-sama… why me? Why do you have to pick on poor o' me?'

XXXXX BACK TO OUR UNLUCKY HEROES!!! XXXXX

"Owowowowowow!!!" Naruto moans as he rubs the multiple bumps that now adorn his head. "Did I do something wrong to make Sakura-nee-chan angry?"

"…I'm sure it's not entirely your fault…" Sai says with a smile that seems to strain on his face while he leans on the wall on the right of Naruto. Naruto, being Naruto, did not let it pass unnoticed…

"Eh? Why are you looking in pain?"

"Well, it's simply because-"

"It's because his left side of the face is all swollen up." Kyuubi says between giggles as yes indeed, the ROOT Anbu's face, or more specifically his left side of the face, is now all swollen up due to a rather hard slap to the face.

How did that happen? Let's take a look…

**Flashback… **

_"Hey ugly dog!" Sai says happily as the room temperature suddenly drops a few degrees. _

_"What… did you… call me?" Sakura, knowing where the insult (Or in Sai's case, nickname) is being aimed at. _

_"Huh? I don't see what the problem is. I mean, you are an ugly dog." The ROOT Anbu says, completely oblivious to Naruto and Kyuubi slowly cowering to Kiba while said Nin is slowly backing as far away as possible. _

_"You… You…" Just then, all the stress building inside of her finally snapped… _

_And we all know what THAT can do to poor Nin that pissed off the Hokage's apprentice… _

_'SHANAROO!!!!' _

**_SLAP!!! _**

****

_Correction, it's not a slap, it's more alone the line of wood snapping, bone breaking, bloody murder, and let's not forget, pain that can only be rivaled by Tsunade herself shoving a blunt scalpel into your south end._

_Yes, it's not pretty. _

**End Flashaback…**

As for Naruto's bumps… let's just say trying to calm a raging Sakura while restraining her from her target isn't such a smart thing to do.

And Kyuubi… he's busy betting how long the tantrum will last with Kiba… which happens to make him a few thousand dollars richer… oh yeah, that means a few very choosy meat… The fox is practically drooling right now. Just imagine… the sweet, fat filled, tendered piece of…

Err… let's stop there before the author gets jumped because of the hungry people reading this thing.

(APH: It is NOT a thing. It is a MASTER PIECE!!)

…Whatever the author says.

Anyway, back to the story.

As it stands, Sai finds himself once again stuck with a rather bored Naruto. For any normal person, and I repeat normal as Konoha nin is renowned to be abnormal, the person will had snapped a long time ago.

After all, constant whining from a certain kid tends to get onto people's nerves right?

And when this certain kid get onto people's nerves, said kid will get a beating of a lifetime right?

The answers to those questions are… NO! A BIG FAT UGLY, RED, SHINY, BLINKING NO THAT PUTS JIRAIYA'S RATHER EMBARRASING DANCE TO SHAME (And shame it this no did)!!! Sai does not get angry because… let's just say that Danzou-sama isn't particularly fond of emotional people.

…And a blunt kunai sticking into where the sun don't shine tend too…

Err… too much information.

…Let's see what a certain pink-haired princess is doing, hm?

XXXXXXXXXX

"AAAAHHH! I SCREW UP!!!"

"You certainly did…"

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO ANYTHING TO HIM!!!"

"Now we're being human."

"MOU!!! TEMARI-SAN IS GOING TO KILL ME FOR HURTING NARUTO-CHAN!!!"

"That's exactly- hey, wait! You're not regretting over me?!?!?" Kiba screams as he points at the numerous bruises decorating his face and body. Currently, the Inuzaka is lying on a hospital bed with Sakura as his personal nurse thanks to Tsunade thinking it as an appropriate punishment for not only trashing her library, but adding a few lumps of flesh on a certain blonde kid.

"Of course not! Why would I be worried over you when super, doper, kawaii times a hundred million Naruto is in pain?!?!" Sakura exclaims as waterfalls of tear run freely from her big, emerald eyes.

"And I thought my sister is cruel…" Kiba whispered as Sakura continues to rant on about how cute and cuddly Naruto is and how bad she felt for hurting him. "…Women…"

"Nani? What was this about me being cruel?" Inuzaka Hana asks sweetly, which is accompanied by a rather nasty grin on her face and a vein throbbing on her head. Behind her is a whimpering Akamaru, which looks rather disturbing considering his size.

"EEP!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ano sa, Ano sa, Sai-san, why won't you play?!?!" Naruto asks as he tries desperately to get the attention of the stoic man. Said man is having a rather easy time ignoring the boy, but there is this thing that's building in his chest, making him want to pound the boy's head in. Ooh… that'll be nice… "Ne, Sai-san!"

Oh yes, pounding his head in will be quite nice… Wait, just what is this strange feeling that is building in his chest?

"Sai-san?!"

Hmm… it's hot, it burns, and it gives him the urge to rip something apart… No, it's not killer intent, as Sai knows full well that if he kills the boy, he'll not live to see the sun rise. So what is it…?

"Sai-san?"

This shows no explanation! He is trained to be emotionless! The PERFECT killing machine! He is to know thousands of way to end a man's life under a matter of a second! How could it be? That right now, he feels like he wants to-

"SAI-SAN?!?!"

-bash the boy's head in!

…And that's exactly what he did… minus actually bashing it in.

**BONK!** "ITAI/URUSAI!"

Oh yes… that felt rather good…

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!"

"…Um?"

"WHY DID YOU HIT ME?"

"…Ah, it's only on a whim." Sai answers with his ever present smile, which only tics Naruto off even more.

"ON A WHIM?!?! YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU PUNCH ME IN THE HEAD BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING YOU DECIDED ON THE SPOT!!" Naruto shouts, completely oblivious to the fact that this is something his old self would have do.

"…"

"Grr, I'll kick your ass if it wasn't because I know I can't…" Naruto growls before he stomps off, completely missing the triumphant smirk that appears on Sai's lips. If he'd seen it, then he'll be one of the few people that'll ever see Sai having display emotion.

Too bad he didn't.

XXXXXXXXXX

Tobi wonders why he is even in this position right now, hiding in a little shack with a cat for company.

Said cat has a ribbon tied to its ear… It felt as if he'd seen it somewhere.

"Ah, what to do? Senpai is so anger at me…"

"Meow?" The cat purrs as it circles around Tobi's feet with content.

"Well, it's probably something I did… but I don't remember what I did…" Tobi continues his monologue as the cat settles down beside him to get pat in the head. "…I envy you. I wish I can be as carefree as you are…"

"Fufufu… I found you yeah?"

"Oh shit…" Tobi curses before he leaps out of his hiding place just as it was blown to thousands of little tiny pieces. Good thing he brought the cat with him. "S-senpai! How good to see you here!"

"Mm, I'm also thinking about how good it is too see you yeah." Deidara says with a sickening sweet smile. "I wonder if death by suffocation is better yeah."

"S… Senpai… please spare me…"

"Hmm… let me think about it yeah…" Deidara says before he gets into a mock thinking pose. "The conclusion is… no yeah. NOW DIE!"

"WAAAAHHH!" Tobi screams as he drops the cat and runs for his life with a very angry missing nin right behind him. The sounds of explosion continue for several minutes before everything dies down. The cat blinks before shrugging. After all, it's none of his business.

And so the cat Taro is going to…

"I FOUND HIM!!"

…Run for his life…

"MEOW!!!"

"HURRY! IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!" A boy shouts as he chases after the cat.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU ALERT HIM OF OUR PRESENTS!!!" A girl scolds as she leaps out of the tree and tosses some tranquilizing senbon at the cat, only to miss every single one by a few centimeters. "DAMN THAT CAT! HE'S FAST!"

"I GOT HIM!" Another boy shouts as he appears right in the cats path, only to be run down with paw prints all of his body. "…I don't got it…"

"GRR! GET HIM!!!" The first boy and the girl shouts as identical veins starts to appear all over the background.

"Ara! Here Taro-san!" A sweet voice calls, causing to cat to freeze before turning his eyes to his savior. "Here Ta-ro-san!"

"MEOW!!!" The cat exclaims before leaping into the arms of one giggling Hyuuga Hinata, who starts to stroke the cat's head gently. "My, my. What a troublesome kitty you are."

"H-HINATA-SENSEI! YOU CAUGHT HIM!!" The second boy shouts as he stops right in front of Hinata.

"Of course she did! Hinata-sensei is best!" The girl cheers before leveling a gaze at the first boy. "Unlike some idiot…"

"HEY!!"

"Now, now. We shouldn't fight." Hinata lightly chide before walking towards Konoha. "We should return. I'm sure the daimyo's wife is very worried."

Oh right! Taro suddenly remembers why he escapes… But if it can get him into the arms of this angel… anything is worth it.

XXXXXXXXXX

APH: Well… there, you have it. I am having major writers block when it comes to my comedy senses… In other words, I'm pretty dried up.

Temari: So that means a long time of no tortures.

Gaara: A long time of no nonsense.

Hanabi: And a long time of peace… and quiet…

APH: You guys are sadists…

Above mentioned three: Look who's talking.

APH: Anyway, sorry for the long wait. I hope you guys still **_give review_**. It's a very addicting thing that keeps the authors going. So press that little bottom on the bottom left scre-GAH!

Temari: Don't threaten the readers. That's Gaara's job!

Gaara: That's right… So review… (Sands start to gather) Or else…


	12. The Typical Days

Disclaimer: Do I even need to say what's supposed to be here?

XXXXXXXXXX

They say that hindsight is 20-20, the perfect vision.

Well, apparently whoever said it never met Naruto before.

It is an incident about three or so weeks ago, and Jiraiya wonders why he even asks for a repeat of Temari's request for the third time. Maybe he's going senile with all the beating, or maybe he just want to make sure that he understand everything required of him. Because the toad sennin clearly remember the chase that occurred three or so weeks ago, that was never explained and is labeled off as one of Konoha's mysteries.

**Flashback**

_"GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!"_

_"I'LL FRY YOU, YOU HEAR ME? I'LL FRY YOU ALIVE!!"_

_"GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD!!"_

_"DIE YOU PERVERTED KID!!"_

_"I SHALL SEND YOU BACK TO THE HELL YOU SPAWN FROM YOU MOLESTER!!"_

_"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED, GIVE ME BACK MY ICHA-ICHA BOOK!!"_

_Yeah, it is a typical day in Konoha, the village hidden in leaves. The villagers continue on with their lives, already used to seeing hordes of ANBU chasing after one kid with little to no success. It make Operation Capture Taro So We Can Skin… err, I mean Capture Taro Alive seems easy._

_…Although half the commotion this time is caused by a certain white haired sennin._

_"Well done kid! Your training is paying off!!"_

_"ERO-JI-CHAN WHAT TRAINING? YOU JUST SUPER CLUE ALL THESE DIRTY MAGAZINES ON ME!!" Naruto, now at the age of ten, shouts as he dives out of the way for a certain death from a pissed off ninja. A pissed off woman ninja… A pissed off woman ninja whose breast Naruto accidentally grope when Jiraiya toss him head first into her. The result is clear._

_He grins sheepishly. She glares with the promise of pain. And the older he giggles pervertly._

_And that's also considering that the duo already have several ANBU on their tails._

_"GET THESE THINGS OFF ME!! AND GET THOSE PEOPLE OFF ME!! AND GET YOUR HAND OFF ME!!"_

_"Relax kid. With me here, nothing bad will happen to you. That I swear on my title as the Frog Hermit!"_

_"GOCHA!!"_

_"AAAAAHHH!! ERO-JI-CHAN!! HELP!! SHE'S GOING TO CASTRATE ME!!"_

_"…Oops."_

_Jiraiya is many things. A pervert, a pig, a powerful ninja, a infiltration expert, a writer, and many more. What he isn't however is a man brave enough to face down a pissed off woman. So the question here is what would Jiraiya do for little Naruto? Well, not a lot of things actually. But that's beside the point._

_The question and dilemma here really is either A) face the dozen or so angry ANBU women and men and safe Naruto from harm, or B) leave Naruto alone to his fate while he face Temari and Tsunade later._

_…Option A it is._

_"DON'T WORRY! JIRAIYA TO THE RESCUE!!" A beautiful dive into the horde of beautiful women and angry men. Flashes of his life past in front of his eyes. A light appears at the other side of the tunnel… And then a woman with red hair and green eyes forcefully kick him back down from heaven to earth. Cue chibi Jiraiya shaking an angry fist at her._

_"Damn you Kushinaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"_

_"Sorry ero-sennin, but kami says it's not your time yet!" 'AND THAT'S OR TRYING TO GET MY SON KILLED!!'_

_And finally, wake up in a hospital a week later with Tsunade smiling a little too sweetly down at him…_

_'Damn, should'd have went for option B…'_

_"And wait, dear me, is Option B?"_

_…Damn, did he said that out loud? "Ah, it's nothing. Just a few quick substitution, henge, and bunshin is all…"_

_"…Right…" And then another episode of his life flashes in front of his eyes. The light once more appears at the other end of the tunnel… And the woman named Kushina once again super kicked him back down to earth with the same message (except this time it's a little gentler… wonder why). And once again he wakes up in a hospital. Only this time it's two weeks later._

**End flashback, and back to the present.**

"So that's the situation." Oh? Finished already? He must have zoned off. Either way, he clearly understands what is asked of him… and he accepted.

And once more he got saddle with Naruto as a cheerful Temari happily thanked him for his time and efforts.

He should have refused, he should have fled, he should have commit senbaku or even bite his tongue for a suicide. What he shouldn't do, is accept.

But he did. He signed his life away once more as he answered with one simple sentence.

"Sure, I think I can handle it…"

Hmm… why is it that he wasn't dead yet? Oh right, kami says it's not his time yet… So that means he'll be here for a while. 'Might as well make the most of it… So which hot spring should I toss Naru-chan into this time?'

XXXXXXXXXX

"So that's the situation." Temari says cheerfully at a horrified Naruto and a snickering Kyuubi.

"B-but…"

"Now, now Naru-chan. I won't be gone for long. It's just a day."

"But…"

"No worry. You can call Tsunade-sama or Shizune-san if you need anything."

"And if Anko comes by, I want you to slam the door on her. Who knows what twisted scheme is in her head."

"But…"

"No Kakashi allowed too. Damn pervert."

"But…"

"Hmm… Hanabi or Hinata should be fine… actually, most of Rookie Nines are fine. Stay away from Lee or Gai though."

"But…"

"And when Kankuro wakes up, tell him to do the laundry."

"But…"

"Oh, and no cookies! Kami forbid you getting too much sugar."

"But…"

"Hmm… that's about it. Now bye for now Naru-chan. Be good for Jiraiya-sama okay?" Bam, the door slammed shut, and thus sealing Naruto in the same room with he who almost got him killed three weeks ago.

"…Well, it appears we'll be spending the next few hours together."

That sets off a scream that travel all over Konoha, and put's one Luke Skywalker's denial scream to shame.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Yeah, that's the start of another typical day in Konoha. An hour later finds Naruto running away, soaking wet, from a horde of angry women clad in towels. The men passed out from massive nose bleed. The women either start hunting for Jiraiya, beat their husband/boyfriend senseless, or join the chase for Naruto.

A bit more later, Jiraiya once more perform a beautiful dive into the horde of beautiful women. More flashes of his life appear in front of his eyes. The light in the other end of the tunnel… Kushina's flying kick, which he dodged, but not Minato's body slam.

"DAMN YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!!"

"Sorry ero-sensei! Kami says it's not your time yet!" 'And Kushina would kill me if I don't do that…'

He wakes up in the hospital three days later… and find Temari once more sitting by his bedside, sheepishly rubbing her hands together with a equally sheepish grin.

"Ano, Jiraiya-sama, I have another favor to ask of you…"

And as one wise man once said: the rest is history.

XXXXXXXXXX

AN: Sorry everyone. It appears my funny bone is indeed malfunctioning and a massive writer's block has makes its home on this story. I have spend many efforts simply getting past it to write this… It's short, yes. The wait is long, yeah. But I hope this chapter can help me regain my humor…

That or college life will spark my funny side back to life.

Well, hope you enjoy. I know it doesn't make much sense, and to tell the truth, I really didn't intend for it to make sense. Just a small something to hope to get me going once more.

Sincerely yours,

APH

PS: There are times when I think about ending it abruptly with a back ending, but my pride wouldn't allow me to. So be glad... Well, not really. I enjoy writing it anyway.


End file.
